This week’s video is important. It shows a clear path to getting rid of the Supreme Court’s horrific 2010 decision Citizens United vs. Federal Election Committee.

That decision opened the floodgates to campaign spending by giant corporations. The high court reasoned that corporations are people who have First Amendment rights to free speech, and that corporate spending on elections is a form of free speech. But the Supreme Court never got to the more fundamental question of corporate power, because since the early twentieth century states haven’t limited corporate powers to do much of anything.

Yet corporations are creatures of state law. States create and define corporations. Whatever powers corporations have come from state decisions to grant them those powers. This principle is embodied in an 1819 opinion by Chief Justice John Marshall declaring that a corporation “possesses only those properties which the charter of its creation confers upon it.”

It wasn’t until the early 20th century that states began to give corporations all the powers human beings have. But states don’t have to do that. States can decide to give them the powers they need to do their business, but not the power to spend money on elections.

This isn’t about corporate rights. It’s about the more basic question of corporate powers. If a corporation doesn’t have the power to do something in the first place, it obviously doesn’t have any right to do it. Without the power to do it, a corporation cannot do it. The state hasn’t empowered it to do it.

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Donald Trump keeps telling us that his war in Iran is “on schedule.” In one sense, he’s right: it’s on schedule to be dumber, more chaotic, and more expensive than George W. Bush’s war in Iraq.

No one with a sense of history would have launched such an idiotic war—which perfectly explains why Trump did it.

The depths of Trump’s historical ignorance became painfully obvious during his first term, when he presided over the worst pandemic since 1918—or, as he insisted on calling it, the worst pandemic since 1917. “The closest thing is in 1917, they say, the great pandemic,” he said. “It certainly was a terrible thing where they lost anywhere from 50 to 100 million people, probably ended the Second World War.” Probably not: the pandemic was over by 1920, and the Second World War didn’t begin until 1939.

When it comes to history, Trump’s most common errors involve (1) when events happened, and (2) what happened. On only his twelfth day as president, during a breakfast to kick off Black History Month, Trump gave Americans a sense that they hadn’t elected Robert Caro. With his only Black cabinet member, Dr. Ben Carson, at his side, he said, “Frederick Douglass is an example of somebody who’s done an amazing job and is being recognized more and more, I notice.” Given what an amazing job Fred is doing these days, it seemed a glaring omission that Trump hadn’t invited him to the breakfast.

Three months later, when Trump spoke about the president he claimed was his favorite, Andrew Jackson, he revealed confusion about when Jackson was alive. “He was really angry that—he saw what was happening with regard to the Civil War,” Trump said of Old Hickory, who, for sixteen years before the Civil War began, had been Dead Hickory.

Trump’s most surreal mash-up of historical periods, however, occurred during a Fourth of July speech in 2019, when he offered this time-bending narrative of the Revolutionary War: “Our army manned the air, it rammed the ramparts, it took over the airports, it did everything it had to do, and at Fort McHenry, under the rockets’ red glare, it had nothing but victory.” People were so distracted by the image of eighteenth-century airports—did they have Sbarro back then, too?—that most overlooked the fact that the battle of Fort McHenry occurred during the War of 1812.

In his first term, Trump sometimes placed himself at the center of events in which he’d played no role, or which never happened at all. He claimed repeatedly that he’d been named Michigan’s Man of the Year; no such award exists. On more than 150 occasions he took credit for signing a health-care law called Veterans Choice. Such a law does exist, but it was signed, in 2014, by Barack Obama.

It is with great excitement that I’m publicly announcing today that I’ve decided to run. I hope you’ll support me. It has taken me years to come to this point. But I simply cannot sit it out any longer. I’m determined to do this, and I want you to know that I’m totally committed to it.

I don’t fool myself into thinking it will be easy. I’ve watched many others try and fail. But I’m dedicated to running — and I will run in a way that draws on my strength, my toughness, and my tenacity.

I’m announcing this publicly today because I need your support and your encouragement. I need you to be 100 percent behind me.

Why am I running? Because, like many of you, I’m angry. I’ve had it. I can’t sit on my duff any longer. My conscience demands that I make this move.

I look at Trump and see someone who’s almost the same age I am, but he’s a total disgrace. Fat. Out of shape. Out of it. And I say to myself: I can do better! I will do better!

Rubio or Vance? I could outrun them in any race. I’ll leave them in the dust.

To be honest with you, I’ve never won a single race. Last time I ran — in Massachusetts, back in 2002 — well, it wasn’t a pretty picture.

But now I have to run. I’ve got too much flab around my middle. Running will also get my cardiovascular system back in the shape it used to be when I was younger.

So starting tomorrow — with your support and encouragement — I’ll be running a half-mile each day.

Happy April 1st.

I want to start with what is happening today, because I think if you understand today first, everything I am about to show you from fifty years ago will make so much more sense than it would if I started at the beginning with things that don’t apply to our lives now.

Today, Peter Thiel, the man who co-founded PayPal, made the first outside investment in Facebook, co-founded the data surveillance company that processes intelligence for the CIA and the Pentagon, and whose money put the current Vice President of the United States in office, has a protégé network running through the executive branch of the American government.

JD Vance, who worked at Thiel’s Mithril Capital and received $15 million in campaign backing from Thiel, is Vice President. David Sacks, Thiel’s Stanford Review co-founder and PayPal colleague, is AI and Crypto Czar. Michael Kratsios, former chief of staff at Thiel Capital, is Director of the White House Office of Science and Technology Policy. Jacob Helberg, a Palantir adviser, was nominated as Under Secretary of State. Clark Minor, who worked at Palantir for 13 years, became Chief Information Officer at HHS. Jim O’Neill, former CEO of the Thiel Foundation, was confirmed as Deputy Secretary of HHS and then installed as acting CDC director.

Since Trump took office in January 2025, Palantir received $113 million in new contracts from DHS and the Pentagon. Palantir, the company Thiel built with venture funding from the CIA’s investment arm In-Q-Tel, which processes data for intelligence agencies and law enforcement across the federal government, is now what Bloomberg has called the operating system for significant portions of American government.

And DOGE, which by mid-2025 had dissolved itself eight months before its scheduled end date, with OPM Director Scott Kupor confirming to Reuters that it was “no longer a centralized entity,” did something before it disappeared. Its personnel stayed, seemingly seeded permanently throughout the agencies they had accessed.

The man who helped dismantle USAID now oversees foreign assistance at the State Department. The person granted access to government health systems is now Chief Technology Officer at HHS. Another is now Chief at the Office of Naval Research. A fourth is developing AI tools to identify and eliminate federal regulations. The organization dissolved, and the footprint it had carved into those agencies remained after it. The oversight infrastructure and the financial investigation infrastructure are the same infrastructure.

The Suspicious Activity Reports at Treasury are how financial crimes get traced. The compliance systems at federal financial agencies are how transactions connecting Epstein, Deutsche Bank, Kushner, and sovereign wealth channels get flagged and investigated. DOGE accessed those systems, then embedded its people permanently inside the agencies that run them, then dissolved so that the footprint continues with no central entity anyone can subpoena or hold accountable.

Meanwhile, when you call 911 in jurisdictions across 23 US states, a company called Carbyne can remotely activate your smartphone camera, track your exact GPS location, run AI analysis on your call, and stream live video from wherever you are (when granted permissions according to any official documents). They advertise these capabilities openly. They raised $100 million in July 2025, and their US revenue jumped 400 percent between 2023 and 2024.

Carbyne is chaired by Ehud Barak, former Israeli Prime Minister and former commander of Unit 8200, Israel’s signals intelligence directorate. It is founded and run by Unit 8200 veterans. Its advisory board includes Michael Chertoff and Kirstjen Nielsen, both former Secretaries of Homeland Security, and Trae Stephens, a former early Palantir employee, Founders Fund partner, and co-founder of Anduril Industries, who led Trump’s Department of Defense transition team in 2016.

Jeffrey Epstein invested $1.5 million in Carbyne in 2015 while Peter Thiel’s Founders Fund invested $15 million in Carbyne in 2018. Epstein also invested $40 million in Thiel’s Valar Ventures fund between 2015 and 2016, money that sat hidden for nine years, grew to $170 million, and is currently the largest remaining asset in Epstein’s estate.

The Pittsburgh region’s first Wegmans grocery store will begin construction in April. Marcie Rivera, a Wegmans public relations representative for the Cranberry Springs development, said Monday that the grocer is “aiming to start site work for the store in April.”

Ron Henshaw, Cranberry Township’s director of planning and development services, confirmed everything is “aligned” for next month.

“We’ve heard it’s a year and a half to build a store like this, give or take a little bit, so they’ve got a long way to go, but we’re anxious for them to get started here,” Mr. Henshaw said.

Located on Cool Springs Drive, the 115,000-square-foot Wegmans is joining a legion of competition in Cranberry — the area is not only the headquarters of the region’s long-time market leader Giant Eagle, but also home to Walmart, Aldi, Target, Shop ‘n Save, Sam’s Club, Costco and B.J.’s Warehouse. The 13-acre site will sit on the larger, 100-acre Cranberry Springs development.

KYIV (The Borowitz Report)—Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy offered on Tuesday to temp as US president while Donald J. Trump undergoes a full psychiatric evaluation.

“For the past few years, I’ve dealt with one catastrophe after another in Ukraine,” Zelenskyy told reporters. “This has uniquely prepared me for the current conditions on the ground in the United States.”

He called Trump’s wildly contradictory statements about the war in Iran “nothing more or less than a cry for help.”

Asked whether Trump was “playing with a full deck,” Zelenskyy said, “He has no cards.”