Elder-caregivers

Hell Hath No Fury

(16,327 posts)

2. Start with boundaries.

Fri Oct 3, 2014, 09:58 PM

Oct 2014

Don't let them shame or bully you into doing things that you are unable to or not your responsibility. When ever you can, pay someone to do what needs doing or get help from friends if possible. Recognize that you cannot control your parents, even of what you are trying to get them to do is for their own best interests.

I have been sole support for my Mom for decades, and I am now understanding that it is not within my power or capabilities to continue the way I have. I have recently been drastically changing how I approach the care of my Mom. I no longer put her first, myself second. I realized that if I am not in good shape, I cannot provide the appropriate type and amount of care for her.

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Help [View all] Aerows Oct 2014 OP

Over a period of years, I had to hire part time and then full time live-in help. NYC_SKP Oct 2014 #1

I've been called every name in the book Aerows Oct 2014 #3

Start with boundaries. Hell Hath No Fury Oct 2014 #2

I'm not capable of a bunch of manual labor Aerows Oct 2014 #4

I completely understand. Hell Hath No Fury Oct 2014 #5

I've done the best I can Aerows Oct 2014 #6

There's a tendency for us to feel guilty, after years of wanting to be a good child, NYC_SKP Oct 2014 #7

I've always stepped up Aerows Oct 2014 #8

Getting screamed at and told Aerows Oct 2014 #9

Going it alone is triple hard. Thankfully, I have a local God sister. NYC_SKP Oct 2014 #11

I'm having a rough time Aerows Oct 2014 #12

I'm okay with going up on ladders Aerows Oct 2014 #10

How is it going, Aerows? Habibi Oct 2014 #13

Better, I guess Aerows Oct 2014 #14

Well, as someone on the other thread pointed out, Habibi Oct 2014 #15

I used the word NO. Aerows Oct 2014 #17

I effectively used the word "NO" Aerows Oct 2014 #16