We admitted Mom to a long-term care facility Friday

[cyclonefence]

9. Thank god for facilities like this

and thank god you can afford, financially and emotionally, to find your mother a home there. The attendants will not do everything the way you want them done, but they will be done. Your mother may even thrive in the company of more people her age. She would not want her children or her husband to sacrifice their lives for keeping her safe; that is what facilities like this exist for.

Your mother is not going to get better. It's good to have her placed now, so that as she inevitably declines, she will be familiar with the people who are taking care of her.

Visit as often as you can, if only to assure yourself that you've made the right decision. She may be unhappy now, but it won't be long before you will realize that you and your family could not possibly have cared for her on your own. She is already become tough to handle physically and has been violent--people who work in care facilities know how to keep her (and themselves) safe.

I know it's tough, but be assured you have done the right thing, for her and for you.