Atheists & Agnostics

Behind the Aegis

(54,914 posts)

15. It may sound a bit strange, but this is much like it is for a GLBT person "coming out."

Reply to beam me up scottie (Original post)

Thu Jun 11, 2015, 11:23 PM

Jun 2015

Last edited Fri Jun 12, 2015, 12:49 AM - Edit history (1)

They are entering a new phase of their life, one that is very uncertain. It can be exciting, but at the same time quite frightening. I would suggest providing alternatives, including written material and allow her to find her own footing, so she feels in control. One of the biggest "mistakes" people make when "helping" someone who is coming out, is 'telling' them what to do or how they should do it. The situation is always individual and unique and must be treated as such. She needs some who will listen, not dictate. Someone who provides comfort, not restraint. Most of all, she needs someone who will be honest and that includes talking about the "bad stuff."

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Need advice for a friend who stopped believing but is heavily involved in the church: [View all] beam me up scottie Jun 2015 OP

I'd suggest getting involved in a new community jeff47 Jun 2015 #1

Thank you, jeff47. beam me up scottie Jun 2015 #2

Roughly the same thought ... cdogzilla Jun 2015 #23

This message was self-deleted by its author cdogzilla Jun 2015 #23

Not sure this will help, but maybe. onager Jun 2015 #3

Hey, thanks onager! beam me up scottie Jun 2015 #4

Unitarians? Hoppy Jun 2015 #5

Good idea! beam me up scottie Jun 2015 #6

That's what I was going to say. Maybe she can "transition" to a Unitarian community-- Arugula Latte Jun 2015 #34

I am in a similar situation Yorktown Jun 2015 #7

Sorry to hear it, Yorktown. beam me up scottie Jun 2015 #8

Actually, if she is respectful, over time, it can become a fun situation Yorktown Jun 2015 #10

Bad atheist! beam me up scottie Jun 2015 #11

If she stays, SusanCalvin Jun 2015 #9

No, that was great! beam me up scottie Jun 2015 #12

Yeah, SusanCalvin Jun 2015 #13

It sounds flippant but it's true: tell her she's got plenty of company Warpy Jun 2015 #14

I hope for her sake she can. beam me up scottie Jun 2015 #17

"Trying to fit in where you.. don't belong can be exhausting" Maybe not, and that might be the trick Yorktown Jun 2015 #21

Exhaustion is why most people leave after a while Warpy Jun 2015 #22

It may sound a bit strange, but this is much like it is for a GLBT person "coming out." Behind the Aegis Jun 2015 #15

That's a really good comparison, actually. F4lconF16 Jun 2015 #16

Wow, great advice BtA. beam me up scottie Jun 2015 #18

Thank you. SusanCalvin Jun 2015 #19

Thanks for that BtA awoke_in_2003 Jun 2015 #33

Suggest she forget the faith, and treat it like a social club. ChairmanAgnostic Jun 2015 #20

That's pretty much what I did when I was a teen. progressoid Jun 2015 #25

Thanks, ChairmanAgnostic. beam me up scottie Jun 2015 #27

There is an organization dedicated to helping people in your friend's situation. Promethean Jun 2015 #26

That's an excellent resource, Promethean. beam me up scottie Jun 2015 #28

Glad I could help. Promethean Jun 2015 #31

Yes, this. beam me up scottie Jun 2015 #32

I haven't been in that kind of situation but if it was me... LostOne4Ever Jun 2015 #29

I hope they wouldn't reject her either. beam me up scottie Jun 2015 #30