Need advice for a friend who stopped believing but is heavily involved in the church:

[SusanCalvin]

9. If she stays,

I hope she has better luck with believers than I have had. Of course, all the following was my own stupid fault.

In chronological order:

Sang in a church choir because I liked to sing and they needed singers. Knew I was atheist, promised not to proselytize. Broken on first day.

Married in fast-food type chapel. Husband warned officiant (is that the right word?), "No religion." Officiant: "For marriage is a HOLY....." (HOLY repeated as many times as he could work in - a lot.) I suppose he rationalized that he didn't say "God." Shouldn't have paid him.

Chartered a boat to scatter Mom's ashes. Recommended by funeral home, turned out to be a priest. Warned, "No religion," couldn't resist, "Vaya con dios." I could tell he thought I was too ignorant to get it. AND he told us, if questioned, to say we were friends - i.e., he was dodging taxes. And no doubt various business rules. Shouldn't have paid him.

I don't trust them as far as I could throw them, which isn't even an inch. They rationalize whatever supports their perceived "higher purpose." Even if you've paid them and they've agreed to the terms.

Whew. Buttons pushed. Only marginally related to question. Sorry.... (She said, picturing John Belushi handing Steven Bishop back his guitar.)