Religion

MineralMan

(147,576 posts)

24. It wasn't my favorite visit, I must say.

Wed Jan 9, 2019, 12:40 PM

Jan 2019

We did manage to get together as a family for dinner at Sizzler, though. My parents can still get out for a meal. It's a serious deal, though, taking them out. Very time consuming.

It's hard to see your aging parents breaking down so much, though. I spent all of my time in their apartment, except for taking all their laundry out to wash at their house, where I also slept. I convinced them to pay for that service at their assisted living facility to simplify the chore. They're still trying to be as independent as possible, but I worked hard to convince them to let others handle the drudge work for them, so they can avoid wasting time on mundane things. I finally got them to agree, or got my father to agree, since my mother is in no condition to make any decisions at all.

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My 94-year-old parents had things to tell me this week. [View all] MineralMan Jan 2019 OP

Hi MineralMan - Your parents sound like wonderful people. Pendrench Jan 2019 #1

They are. Thanks! MineralMan Jan 2019 #8

I'm glad you all had these discussions. Girard442 Jan 2019 #2

Thanks. I'll get through it, I'm sure. MineralMan Jan 2019 #9

Personally, I would double check on the plots beforehand. Kittycow Jan 2019 #3

No need. I know exactly where the plots are: MineralMan Jan 2019 #7

Sounds like everything's under control then! Kittycow Jan 2019 #72

You are fortunate cpamomfromtexas Jan 2019 #4

I'm very sorry to hear that. MineralMan Jan 2019 #10

Whoa! Good luck, that's awful. mahina Jan 2019 #26

Following someone's wishes is always the right thing to do, even if The Velveteen Ocelot Jan 2019 #5

I agree. My father is a planner. MineralMan Jan 2019 #12

You are fortunate in that regard - my dad was a planner, too; The Velveteen Ocelot Jan 2019 #16

I'm putting together my 'last wishes' instructions Siwsan Jan 2019 #6

Yes. I want to be cremated and my ashes MineralMan Jan 2019 #13

We were all shocked when my mom decided on cremation for herself and dad Siwsan Jan 2019 #15

I was moved by your situation. No in a bad way mind you. GulfCoast66 Jan 2019 #61

Thank you very much for your reply. MineralMan Jan 2019 #62

Your parents sound great... N_E_1 for Tennis Jan 2019 #11

They are. Thanks. MineralMan Jan 2019 #14

They took care of us as babes... N_E_1 for Tennis Jan 2019 #17

Yes. We should never forget that. MineralMan Jan 2019 #20

Sounds like you now have Wellstone ruled Jan 2019 #18

It wasn't my favorite visit, I must say. MineralMan Jan 2019 #24

Oh boy how those words ring in my pea brain. Wellstone ruled Jan 2019 #28

Thanks. I'm heartened by all of the posts in reply to this thread. MineralMan Jan 2019 #30

On the flip side,we have Wellstone ruled Jan 2019 #36

Definitely interact with the caregivers catchnrelease Jan 2019 #52

Wishing you well Ohiogal Jan 2019 #19

Thank you very much! MineralMan Jan 2019 #21

Your parents sound a lot like me (only 30+ years older). lagomorph777 Jan 2019 #22

That's true for a lot of people. MineralMan Jan 2019 #27

However it is handled, whether Ilsa Jan 2019 #23

It will go as planned, I'm sure. MineralMan Jan 2019 #25

My favorite quote of all time: skydive forever Jan 2019 #29

Thank you. I'm sorry for your loss, too. MineralMan Jan 2019 #37

Sorry for your loss central scrutinizer Jan 2019 #84

This is almost exactly what my late mother had verified in writing, a decade before she died. maddiemom Jan 2019 #31

Over the last four years of their lives, I waatched both my parents die. They were in their 90s. Nitram Jan 2019 #32

Yes. Things that violate the dignity of the aged are common. MineralMan Jan 2019 #39

Yes, the hospice people are very understanding. But they do need clear guidance regarding the Nitram Jan 2019 #60

Both have DNR orders on file with their doctor. mitch96 Jan 2019 #74

Thanks MineralMan for sharing. Letting go; the head understands, but the heart has trouble doing so. alwaysinasnit Jan 2019 #33

my mom dawn5651 Jan 2019 #34

Beautiful! BarbD Jan 2019 #35

Thank you! MineralMan Jan 2019 #41

Clearly the apple didn't fall far from the tree as you littlemissmartypants Jan 2019 #38

Please be strong in your difficult times ahead. MineralMan Jan 2019 #40

You are very fortunate Brainstormy Jan 2019 #42

They have always been very rational people. MineralMan Jan 2019 #44

They are courageous and smart to think ahead FakeNoose Jan 2019 #43

They are, and I love them for that and many other traits. MineralMan Jan 2019 #45

Check, double check and re-check the laws regarding DeminPennswoods Jan 2019 #46

It's all taken care of, thanks. MineralMan Jan 2019 #48

You're a lucky son! Such great parents... who have lived long, full lives! deurbano Jan 2019 #47

Yes. Long, full lives. MineralMan Jan 2019 #50

My mother LittleGirl Jan 2019 #49

Regarding the DNR directions lunatica Jan 2019 #51

You're not supposed to call medics marybourg Jan 2019 #82

When we honor our parents, we honor everyone before them, too. Congrats on such a good end. ancianita Jan 2019 #53

I think you're right. Honoring our elders is MineralMan Jan 2019 #56

My mother was also not religious TexasBushwhacker Jan 2019 #54

Those are long lives hibbing Jan 2019 #55

Yes, very long lives. If they live until the middle of June, MineralMan Jan 2019 #58

Good for your parents. geardaddy Jan 2019 #57

They are pragmatic people, but not fatalistic. MineralMan Jan 2019 #59

thanks for sharing MM Kurt V. Jan 2019 #63

And thanks for your reply. MineralMan Jan 2019 #64

Be careful about that DNR order hurple Jan 2019 #65

Good on your parents for thinking ahead and being practical. Moebym Jan 2019 #66

I've had the same talk with my Mother... SergeStorms Jan 2019 #67

I'll keep that in mind. Thanks. MineralMan Jan 2019 #79

This message was self-deleted by its author geralmar Jan 2019 #68

Your parents sound like mine and myself too. BigmanPigman Jan 2019 #69

Read "Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End" worstexever Jan 2019 #70

Your parents sound like swell people cp Jan 2019 #71

You are blessed SallyHemmings Jan 2019 #73

MM, my friend -- peace and blessings to you all Hekate Jan 2019 #75

I'm sorry you're having issues. MineralMan Jan 2019 #80

In some ways, this might seem bleak. WhiteHat Jan 2019 #76

My parents were good planners also. Their cremation was previously arranged and we kept mom's ashes dameatball Jan 2019 #77

You will never regret carrying out their wishes. TNNurse Jan 2019 #78

Thank you. Nurses are special people! MineralMan Jan 2019 #81

By the time I die I do not think there will be anyone Doreen Jan 2019 #83

Organized religion is unnecessary. What we believe is up to each individual. uppityperson Jan 2019 #85

I am glad you got to talk with them UpInArms Jan 2019 #86

Sounds like you guys have things well in hand. Ligyron Jan 2019 #87

I think so. Many people are far more open MineralMan Jan 2019 #90

Wow. How lucky they are to still have each other (and you of course). williesgirl Jan 2019 #88

K and R Stuart G Jan 2019 #89

My step mother recently passed. She was a devout Christian. WeekiWater Jan 2019 #91

That's an Excellent Point. MineralMan Jan 2019 #92

What I love about both of our parents. WeekiWater Jan 2019 #93