the abdication of female agency or the gender bait/switch?

[lumberjack_jeff]

10. A viewpoint which is often discredited by accusations of "blaming the victim".

Rarely do I hear that particular objection ("you're blaming the victim&quot directed at people who question the judgment of a man who suffers misfortune or victimization.

I wish we could acknowledge the degree to which these discussions are a minefield of no-win scenarios.

Respecting women's agency requires allowing women to drink (even to excess)... unless it appears her impaired judgment will lead her to make bad choices, in which case I become responsible for her conduct. Unfortunately, that responsibility is always retrospective; "I can't believe you let me..." or "I hate how you treated me like a child..." are at least as likely as gratitude the following day.

Personally, I try to err on the side of respecting people's choices. In general, accepting responsibility for another adult's choices is inherently disrespectful toward them.