If you could date a totally hot celeb who would it be?

[Warren DeMontague]

254. News Flash: It seems I'm "never going to have sex with any of those women in bathing suits!" (sob)

Like Sophia Loren circa Boy on a Dolphin. I am NEVER GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH HER so therefore I'm a sad deluded fuck for appreciating her physical attractiveness.

(Not to mention the fact that finding someone sexually, visually attractive means you TURN THEM INTO AN OBJECT which is why you want to have sex with shoelaces and doorknobs and elevator buttons and all those OBJECTS, sicko!)

I guess they missed the part about happily married; and yeah, even if Olivia Munn showed up at my door tomorrow wearing nothing but saran wrap (which would be totally insane, given how ass-cold it is here, now) I would gladly say "sorry, not available, but here's a blanket. Warm up." My wife, I can state with some solid assurance, would do the same thing if that beefy werewolf guy from True Blood showed up. And yeah, she likes him, although she thinks he's a shitty actor.



(this one's for you, honey! 6'5"? Christ!)

The fact that we can both appreciate the physical attractiveness of other humans, with or without the occasional tongue in cheek, does not deter from our relationship and our deep fundamental multi-leveled attraction to each other.

Erm, Because we're grown ups, not insecure teenagers.