Relations with the ex-wife

[Kaleva]

I've already posted much of this in various OPs in the Lounge (is there a better place?)but I'll try and condense it here in one. Maybe other men who are divorced or separated may chime in with there experiences.

My wife and I had our ups and downs over the years and early this year she told me she wanted a divorce. Frankly, I wasn't happy with the situation I was in either and could see a big change was needed. Altough I argued for a separation rather then a divorce as there were many positives to our relationships.

The divorce was very amicable and there was no argument about division of property. She was to keep everything.

Most everything anyways. I got to keep the small house I had owned before we got married and where I am right now. She let me have a big screen tv, a chair and an old scooter which I use for transportation around town. She also gave me some old pots and pans, a package of toilet paper, some cans of soup, a toilet brush and plunger.

I didn't argue about anything 'cause I felt our relationship really wasn't over and if I did argue, then it might end up being over for good.

Right after the divorce and even before, as I had moved out a month before the divorce was final, we'd talk almost every day and see each other every two to three days. She'd stop by to see how I was doing (she had the van while I just have the scooter), sometimes bringing me a cooked dinner. Today I spent much of the day at her place where we had a some afternoon delight, and then did some yard work before eating dinner. I returned back to my place with the van so I can go back tomorrow.

A couple of weeks ago she said it was a big mistake for us to get divorced and she should have listened to me and just got a separation instead. We still wear our wedding rings and she's going to keep my name altough she had the right, as part of the divorce settlement, to go back to her name. She also doesn't want me to take my name off of the house 'cause she says it's just as much my home as it is hers even though I don't live there.

While no longer legally married, we are still pretty much the couple. And our living apart seems to be working out rather fine. She has the house and I have my furnished man-cave. I can spend as much time here at DU as I want. And wear nothing but a t-shirt and boxer shorts while logged in. She can do her thing.

But we also found that we need each other. We really miss each other if even just a day goes by when we at least don't talk on the phone.