Florida Governor DeSantis Looks To Ban Biological Females From Wearing Pants

[Baked Potato]

Florida Governor DeSantis Looks To Ban Biological Females From Wearing Pants

After Indictment Day, 2023
Baked News Network

Florida (BNN) Branding pants-wearing females as “wickedly dangerous ‘Drag Kings’,” defective Russian android Governor Ron DeSantis will demand a new law making it a felony for a “biological” female to wear any form of a pant or trouser. Yes, “Even babies or toddlers would be branded a Drag King under the Governor’s new law,” said DeSantis spokesman Dom Minionist.

DeSantis plans to use trained “agricultural nut inspectors,” to perform visual and physical inspections of Drag King suspects. Inspectors will be volunteers borrowed from the Transportation Security Agency (TSA). Dom said, “Any absence of a twig and berries would trigger a more robust pat down and further constitute a reportable ‘Drag King incident’.”

TSA agriculture inspectors who are customarily posted in US international airports to detect illegal import of agricultural contraband will fan out to Florida Law Enforcement agencies, schools, daycare centers, and even some private homes. The only possible legal exemptions are those attending so-called religious institutions or schools and some certified “Christian homes.”

Details are promised to be quickly forthcoming, but it was revealed the definition of a “pant or trouser,” will be “anything other than a cute dress,” and includes “rompers, jumpsuits, culottes, shorts of any kind, overalls, sweatpants, tights, hot pants, skorts, capris, and may even include some pull-up type diapers.”

“Pants-friendly ‘Jezebels without the pebbles’ won’t be tolerated in MY America,” pandered Ron DeSantis, “and under my leadership, the legs of real girls will always be available for viewing, spreading, and proper judgement, just as God intended.”

Point of Contact (POC), as always, is Wank Wrinkleskins, Stop 3, Bus 12, Podunk, ‘Merica. “Fuck you, very, very much,” Wank Wrinkleskins stated, wryly, as he broke big wind in DJT’s general direction. ❤️🤗