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KatyaR

(3,587 posts)
5. I had to do that with my mom.
Fri Feb 9, 2018, 05:53 PM
Feb 2018

My dad had passed away 25 years previously; I'm an only child who lived 45 minutes away and didn't have a very good relationship with my mother. She was retired and had slowly started becoming forgetful, etc. The police found her wandering the streets after midnight in her nightgown and carrying her handbag at least twice (she thought she was going to the bathroom across the hall from her bedroom), she was getting lost when she would drive, she couldn't remember the simplest things. I was scared she'd burn the house down. There was no way I could work full time and take care of her; our relationship was so bad that it would have been a nightmare (and I'm just not a caregiver). She couldn't stay on her own and there was no one else to help. So my aunt and I found a nursing home in the town where my aunt lived. I took my mom to visit my aunt, we went for a ride and ended up at the nursing home. My mom went psycho, we finally had to walk out the door and leave her. I felt guilty for a bit but there was no way that I could have done anything different. My aunt was close by until she died after three years later, and mom died two years after that.

I'm so sorry for what you're going through. It's not fair, but your parents will be so much better off, and you and your husband will be able to rest.

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