I never wanted to come here.......I need it now. Husband is losing his mind....short term memory

[Trueblue Texan]

21. This is the best advice.

I’ve seen so many family members who just do not know what the person with dementia (PWD) is going through. They will quiz, cajole, scold as if the PWD is merely being stubborn, or isn’t trying hard enough. As if the PWD isn’t already embarrassed by his lack of ability to grasp an explanation for the current reality. Caregivers often accuse the PWD of lying because they will quite often weave a story out of whole cloth to explain something they have an unclear or non-existent memory of.

The most powerful thing loved ones can do is to learn about dementia. Learn the stages, the symptoms, the perceptual deficits and behavioral issues and the best ways to deal with them. Knowledge will save you so much energy and grief. The exasperation and guilt you are feeling is normal.

Even though it sounds impossible, you must get some help. Talk to his doctor, church, friends, family members. Never turn down help, even if it isn’t ideal. You must plan for what is coming and ways that you can address it. You must get rest or you won’t be able to do any of it. Your husband’s doctor will be very important in your lives now as you deal with his sleep problems, sundowning and health issues. You can’t really make dementia better but you can make it easier to deal with. It is very important for your husband to have something todo. Go to alz.org to gather information and get ideas.