My view of nihilism from the cheap seats... and then found from the other cheap seats.

[AgentStepford]

2. Your question surprised me.

I had to read it a couple of times. But the answer is, "No, quite the opposite."

I honestly felt bulletproof, and somehow assumed that everyone else was as well. It genuinely perplexed me when anyone would give up on anything for any reason - or no reason - because I never gave up. Ever.

I'm elemental. Which I guess is to say I am uncomplicated and/or immensely stupid. But I got tired of being betrayed. My husband finally managed to do what literal serial killers whom I escaped could not... make me lose heart. He persisted in marginalizing my situation, and the killers are still free. I had to see this, and walk away. Prior to three months ago, I had been frozen for years at a stretch. But my paralysis was a stunned denial. I would catch my breath... to then turn to a new effort.

So... I've come to accept: to want to throw it all away is not necessarily the worst tactic to have in a situation. Even as I finally realize that so much is NOT worth dying for.

But now a question, if you (or someone) would...!


A.) Am I a nihilist for wanting to condemn swathes of humanity; to hang them and in turn be (and promote being) a healthier, happier person?

B.) Am I in fact getting on a page of equilibrium, and a natural balance of nature and order is Justice, and a valid life-affirmation?