That's exactly what I always thought I had to do with people who had traits or did things I didn't like and who I thought I was supposed to like or love.
Before I started practicing Zen I just tried to overlook these things in the people in my life. This resulted in a lot of pain some of which I wasn't even aware of until it bubbled up, it also resulted in essentially keeping people out of part or all of my life.
After practicing for a while I started wanting to "fix" people that again led to just a different set of problems.
These days with many of the people who have been part of my life for a long time I've been able to find a sort of equanimity, able to like and love them and see their ignorance, hate and greed.
However, with some new adequateness, particularly in my professional circles there are people who I just don't like, who do and say things that make me just uncomfortable. I can't overlook these things, even if they are otherwise technically (I'm in IT) good at their work.
I find it increasingly difficult to not 'overlook' and still maintain an equanimity.
It's particularly difficult in one case because I seem to be his only 'friend' in the office now.
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