settlement finally in the works.

[mopinko]

he moved out april 15th, after 32 years and 4 kids together. mostly never "worked", tho i have made art and raised hell for most of those years.

we had a beautiful trip to hawaii in january, like a honeymoon. last year was very tough. launching the last kids. things just falling apart. we almost didnt go.
then, a 10 day lovefest.
3 days later, he declared he had grounds for divorce. my crime? replacing my beloved parrot who had escaped with a little fellow who needed a home.
and smoking dope with our 22 yo son.
high crimes, i guess.

been dragging through it all, with little crimes along the way. hiding money, stealing money, putting money in one day and taking it out the next.
and finally have an offer almost ready to present.
such hard choices.
there is property and money enough for him to drop the assets, walk away, and we both can start over.
he is starting to make fat money. i would likely be better off taking the maintenance, but damn. i just want him out of my life. he has been such a jerk.
got a piece of property with almost zero equity that i need to keep with my little farm. that means a fat mortgage for the next 12 years at least. trouble is, i dont know if it is possible to even get a mortgage on my own. which i could do with a nice maintenance check.

there is a fat 401k. i'm old enough to take disbursements.
need to crunch some numbers, i guess. i could always retire the loans out of that money. it would leave me with nearly free and clear rent checks.
i suspect that if i could keep the current terms, i would be better off making the payments. but i have serious doubts about keeping those terms on my own credit/income.

i just want it to be aalllll over. let him take his income and go get that trophy wife now.
the only thing i really want going forward is a split of his bonuses. at least that gives me a way to pay down those loans.

at least it doesnt feel like it has been for naught. we built things together. i wont starve.
but damn. can i just get out on the other side?