My evangelical cousin is at death's door.

[TigressDem]

86. One thing that sucks about being human is losing loved ones. Hurts no matter what.

I have chosen to wear my pain whenever it comes up as a badge of honor for the ones I've loved and lost.

I tell myself that the fact that I can grieve and feel this pain means that the relationship was a value in my life and continues to remind me of my ability to love and be loved.

Shutting myself off from others hasn't been a good thing for me so while I will take time for myself, I don't make walls.

Pain sucks but feeling it and remembering the joy that was is part of being an advanced human being who is aware of life and the rest. So be it.

Hope whatever process you have for dealing with the loss of someone so treasured and important to you has helped.

My folks died in the 90's and it was rough. I was in my 20's and not ready for that.

My FIL is heading toward hospice soon and MIL is 90, so these two are somewhat expected. I find myself kind of Mama Bear in making sure they get the best at this stage of their life and it's partly because I could not do that for my folks. It's becoming another way to heal and grow. Oh goodie.

Face what I can, when I'm able. Rest when I must and just carry on. Luckily it's a good sized family and we can all tag team on it.

Just another day being human, yah?