I'm going to hell, but at least I'll have cookies....

[onager]

11. Ha! Wash hands frequently.

After beating mixture, say "Ecce homo." Spend next hour explaining to Fundie neighbors that it has nothing to do with Jesus being gay.

Oh, and...declare cookies innocent. Then sentence them to death anyway.

As people smarter than me (which is everybody) have noted: the whole awesome "Passion" story seems to have been written by authors who knew absolutely nothing about either Roman or Jewish law in 33 CE.

Long as I'm here...according to the Xians favorite historian, Flavius Josephus, Pilate was just about the last person who would have caved in to a mob and reversed himself. Josephus covers several accounts of Pilate confronting mobs, and they all ended the same way: Pilate called out the Jerusalem Riot Squad and clobbered the mob.

On one occasion, according to Josephus, Pilate planted his own agents provocateur inside a mob to whip it into a frenzy. His agents then whipped out their swords and started killing people.