An idea I got from a song by Mumford and Sons. Oddly, the songwriter is pretty religious and it comes through on most of his songs. But this one doesn't. (Except the name of the song comes from 'east of eden')
It's about the positives, and making a safe space for someone to mourn and work out their grief as they need to. "i will tell the night, and whisper 'lose your sight', but I can't move the mountains for you."
Tell the night/lose your sight. This is a reference to MacBeth. He is afraid the stars light will see his deepest, darkest desires, and begs they hide their light. In this use, it's a wonderfully poetic way to remind me to make space for the person grieving. I can't 'move the mountain for them', I can't live or experience the grief on their behalf, but I can shelter them, I can stand between them and the starlight so they can break down and deal with that grief themselves without shame or fear. That might be, take the co-worker to a bar, let them vent. Maybe might mean offer to watch their kids so they can escape for a few hours, or maybe help them move some heavy thing they can't lift alone, some thing that reminds them of their loss, out of their life.
If I care about that person, it's not a quick scribble on a card, a sad face and then back to work. "As brothers we will stand, and I'll hold your hand..."
George carlin did a bit about funerals and the sycophants that offer 'if there's anything I can do' and then they leave and go home and that's the end of that. I liken that to prayer. Zero load cookie pushing morons, that can't be bothered to actually do anything material. When I talk to someone suffering and I offer help, I am careful to contextualize how much I am offering because I expect them to call that favor, and I intend to deliver. (Carlin encouraged people to 'call them' on their bluff. Ask them right then and there to do something material for them. Watch them squirm or flee)
Anyway, here's the song. It's one of those things that resonated oddly for me, maybe it can help you.
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