Expressing sympathy/ concern

[Binkie The Clown]

3. Personally, I don't make an issue of such things.

I'm out all the way as an atheist, but I also live in a culture where expression of sympathy often include the word "prayer". I just think of "prayer" as "thoughts of kindness and compassion", or "hopes for a good outcome" having nothing to do, in my own mind, with imaginary celestial beings. Left to my own devices I tend to say "My thoughts are with you." or "I hope everything works out for you." using words like "thoughts", and "hope" instead of "prayer". When invited to sign a card that mentions prayer, I sign it without comment. It's the thoughts and hopes that matter, and if I care about the person in question, then I want for them to feel better about whatever struggles they are experiencing.

I don't believe in god, but the last thing I will do is lecture someone on their deathbed about how silly religion is. I don't kick their crutch out from under them unless I now for sure that they can stand upright without it. Same goes for someone who his suffering, and finds comfort in their religion. I'm not going to be the one to kick their crutch out. There's a time and place for theological debate, and times of emotion crisis are not appropriate times to make an issue of your own beliefs. It's not "standing on principle." It's "being selfish."

Pick your fights, and for the most part, go along to get along.