Huckabee: God's Blessing Would Help Me as President to Stop 'Secular Theocracy'

[beam me up scottie]

52. marsupalian Jehovah's Witnesses!

It is unusual for groundhogs to come calling, they're pretty anti-social. We have to foul their burrows so the horses don't break their legs in them.

I remember when our big city neighbor wanted help dispatching an opossum that took up residence underneath his living room. He was going to kill it by shooting through the floorboards... I explained why having a decomposing opossum underneath your living room was worse than having a live one and to just block the tunnel under the house and leave the poor critter be.

I named him Bubba (the opossum, not the neighbor), he used to eat with the stray cats on the back porch. One time a German Shepard had him cornered by the garage, you should have heard Bubba snarl, thought we had a Tasmanian Devil out there. The dog looked at me like "Should I?" I was like "No, dude, really, I wouldn't". He did the smart thing and left Bubba alone.

I'm enjoying living out in the sticks now, opossums and groundhogs are more intelligent than our former neighbors. Quieter too.