Atheists & Agnostics

edgineered

(2,101 posts)

41. Anyone who mentions going to heaven cements my desire not to go.

Fri Apr 17, 2015, 07:33 PM

Apr 2015

"I'm sorry, but my ideas of a perfect world don't have me catering to you" is the first place my thoughts go and it gets worse from there, like the present. And should the past become the topic, it's probably too late to run. A pair of custom fit jeebus shoes awaits you, head on down to the water and get yourself baptized. You are now ready to completely forgive your potential spouse's every misdeed and thought, so start asking about those deepest secrets, there's always one more hidden in there somewhere. The good and forgiving soul that you have become will wash those ugly sins away, you will forget all about them, say a prayer, and never mention them again. It's a blessing that works every time. Don't let evil sinners tell you otherwise.

In the real world though, you got through it with your sanity intact. I hope you didn't have to suffer very long.

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It's Ask an Atheist Day! [View all] beam me up scottie Apr 2015 OP

Glad to cast the first stone, er, vote Warpy Apr 2015 #1

It's already started in GD. beam me up scottie Apr 2015 #2

Genius poll, bmus. n/t. bvf Apr 2015 #3

Thanks! beam me up scottie Apr 2015 #4

This message was self-deleted by its author mr blur Apr 2015 #11

The part of the Roman Empire that fed Christians to the lions 3:) LostOne4Ever Apr 2015 #5

Ikr? beam me up scottie Apr 2015 #6

It turns out that there were actually very few christians meals Warren Stupidity Apr 2015 #10

You are absolutely correct LostOne4Ever Apr 2015 #12

You got your time period wrong Leontius Apr 2015 #27

Could not resist going with the belief option here, edgineered Apr 2015 #7

Why thank you, edgineered. beam me up scottie Apr 2015 #19

Anyone who mentions going to heaven cements my desire not to go. edgineered Apr 2015 #41

Yeah, my ex mil really tried to get to me. beam me up scottie Apr 2015 #42

"Why do you insist on explaining everything? Sometimes it's best to marvel without explanations!" DetlefK Apr 2015 #8

When you 'splain stuff, you take away our argument that not everything can be explained Arugula Latte Apr 2015 #18

Scientific materialists!!11! beam me up scottie Apr 2015 #20

Roman Empire! Warren Stupidity Apr 2015 #9

Don't forget conquest, slavery and supplanting indigenous cultures. beam me up scottie Apr 2015 #21

"Dear atheist, how does it feel... mr blur Apr 2015 #13

That's hitting a little too close to home. beam me up scottie Apr 2015 #22

Oh my! Curmudgeoness Apr 2015 #30

Yeah, don't. beam me up scottie Apr 2015 #38

I know. Curmudgeoness Apr 2015 #40

Can't you accept mysteries? edhopper Apr 2015 #14

Can't you accept mysteries? AlbertCat Apr 2015 #15

Or, "What's wrong with having a religious belief and not being expected to back it up?" trotsky Apr 2015 #16

Questions? Remember what happened to Adam and Eve? beam me up scottie Apr 2015 #23

I like sin edhopper Apr 2015 #24

Me too. beam me up scottie Apr 2015 #26

Please, don't be too harsh. PassingFair Apr 2015 #17

Selective curiousity. beam me up scottie Apr 2015 #25

I had to give a little love to one of the options with no votes Curmudgeoness Apr 2015 #28

Ah, you're so sweet! beam me up scottie Apr 2015 #33

I loved SNL back then. Curmudgeoness Apr 2015 #34

Dan, you pompous ass... beam me up scottie Apr 2015 #37

I got the reference Lordquinton Apr 2015 #43

oooh did someone touch a nerve??? Heddi Apr 2015 #29

trotsky sure touched some yesterday. beam me up scottie Apr 2015 #39

Have you ever read the book "Children of God?" Heddi Apr 2015 #31

That one's on my list. beam me up scottie Apr 2015 #35

Is that the book they're always talking about on Scooby Doo? mr blur Apr 2015 #44

Why do the billboards have to be so OFFENSIVE? Heddi Apr 2015 #32

I know, right? beam me up scottie Apr 2015 #36

You left out a couple big ones. Promethean Apr 2015 #45

Ah, see those are legitimate questions. beam me up scottie Apr 2015 #46