Puzzle pieces falling into place.
Classic family systems theory, individual psychology and Jungian psychology all in the mix.
It is a tightly knit system with you as the caregiver and family rock. Raised your own mother as a child.
Now taking care of your daughter and helping to raise your grandson. They are dependent upon you for
survival.
But it has cost you personally a great deal and you are now facing significant losses.
Loss of home, job, privacy, security, freedom, finances. So there is an ongoing grieving process.
Yes the family is clearly aware of your emotional situation, consciously or unconsciously, given their dreams.
Your daughter's dream says it all. There is a dump truck full of dirt falling on you. And she feels helpless
to assist you, but she knows you are symbolically being buried which causes you deep harm.
As I said in another post here, most dreams have one piece that doesn't fit. In your daughter's dream a dump truck killed you, which was an odd symbol but now it makes perfect sense.
Your daughter dreams of you dying by suffocation, because in part that is how you feeling.
Being suffocated by family responsibilities. At a time in your life when you had hoped to have some
peace, privacy and security.
Your mother and daughter are deeply dependent upon you, but know it is causing you harm and
are terrified they may lose you.
I believe the dreams are a giant wake up call. The family system is crying out for change.
But your mother and daughter and mother feel helpless.
The transformation must come from you.
You are most certainly not pathetic. You have been courageous and self sacrificing for your family which
you learned as a child.
But now the system is telling you some changes are in order. I think you need to start asking for what you need.
Please don't let the dirt bury you, I implore you.
Are there any community resources available for childcare? To give you a break? I am also a strong introvert and without some quiet alone time, I am a mess. You must have time to yourself. Schedule that time for yourself in a private space and no one bothers you unless the house is on fire.
Can you do some fun things? It is time for self care.
Yes you have things to be grateful for. You have a roof over your head, food on the table and your daughter and grandson are taken care of and healthy. But it is no longer enough.
Right now you are stuck and see no way forward. I have planted some seeds which need to percolate for a bit.
I am feeling that there are going to be some opportunities coming your way, in the past you would not even have noticed them because you have been stuck. I am doing some gentle prodding and poking to help you move forward and get unstuck. Start noticing opportunities which will present themselves if you look. Start taking care of your self. Be active in that regard. Do not reject these ideas. Think about them in a new way.
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