As I was lying in bed this morning, I realized that it has been almost 40 years since I broke my back and it has been a good run of mostly pain free living. Now I have to figure something else out because everyday is a new adventure in pain and how to move, not just through pain, but because of it. Every move that I make must be modulated; no more jumping into bed, now it is an easing into it. I am so right side dominated that I have to change all my movements because that is the side that is so f*ed up! I helped my sister pack to move into a new apartment yesterday and I can barely move today. Yikes!
The rejection part really hurts because I thought I had something to offer in the political world and now I know that is not what I'm supposed to be doing because they don't want me!
And my garden, the place I thought I would end my days is another exercise in pain. I think we may have to sell our country home and move to something smaller that I can manage without working in the earth.
And I guess that is the question. What do we do? What is the point? I know that barring unforeseen accidents, I'll be old and the idea of being a semi vegetable watching tv for the rest of my days makes me want to stick my head in the oven!
So, I'm waiting for the great reveal. There must be something I'm to do besides eat, sleep and shit.
Good luck to you in your search for meaning...call out when it comes!