I think they gained a sense of community through their churches and honor their desire to serve the community. Methodism was too bland and ordinary to hold my attention for long, but I have no regrets about a Methodist upbringing and only fond memories of the church ladies and gentlemen. Can't help wondering how much negative vs. positive feelings towards one's family (and church) of origin determine the friendly vs. unfriendly feelings unbelievers have towards believers.
This goes back for many generations, in that abolitionism and Unionism run as threads through both parents' southern families. How can one not "honor" the memory of southerners who struggled against the racist current to fight against slavery and for the Union? Doesn't require accepting the Quaker and Baptist beliefs that motivated their principled stand, to admire them for it. But everyone's mileage varies, and I'm coming to a resigned acceptance that many unbelievers had far worse experiences with religious families than I did, and are striking out against religion in general and even religion-friendly unbelievers, to get back at them.
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