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Ocelot II

(123,378 posts)
14. So here's why I don't like cozy mysteries.
Mon Nov 28, 2022, 12:53 PM
Nov 2022

There is a predictable template that they almost always follow:

1. There's been a murder, but it's not gory or violent. Somebody has turned up dead, but not in a gross, scary way. They're just dead.

2. The protagonist is always female. She is single, relatively young and attractive, no kids, owns a bookstore or a bakery or a craft store or some other twee little shoppe in her little town. She could also be a (or the) reporter for the town's little weekly newspaper.

3. She decides to play amateur detective because she finds the body or it's someone she knows or just because. As the series progresses she always finds the body or it's always someone she knows.

4. She tangles with the handsome but arrogant cop who is investigating the murder. The instant they meet and start fighting you know they will become an item, and there is a subplot involving their cheesy and predictable romance.

5. If she's a reporter she will tangle with her editor when she decides to write a story about the murder which involves the mayor or other important person in the town.

6. She might have a sidekick, possibly the gay guy who works for her in her bead shop, or her sensible friend who tries to talk her out of following a suspect through the woods or down dark alleys.

7. She is captured by the person she is following, who is probably not the murderer, and is rescued by the handsome, arrogant cop. They fall into each other's arms, and there is a steamy but not too porny love scene.

8. She manages to figure out who the murderer is but nobody will believe her until there's another bloodless murder, which probably occurs behind her bookstore/bakery/craft shop.

9. She prevents a third murder in some painfully clever way, as by blinding the perp with bread dough or causing him to slip and fall on the beads she has strewn on the floor. The perp is then arrested by the handsome but arrogant cop.

10. The motive for the murders turns out to be some bizarre, convoluted story involving inheritances or illegitimate children or real estate developments or corporate polluters.

11. The handsome but arrogant cop is fired by the police department because he did something stupid and off the books while helping the protagonist investigate the crime. So he becomes a private detective while she keeps finding dead bodies.

12. She might have a cat. If the cat helps her solve the murders the story is somewhat improved.

If you are going to write cozy mysteries, please do not include these elements in your stories.

Recommendations

0 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

I'm enjoying Rhys Bowel's Evan Evans series. Two down and several more to go. MLAA Nov 2022 #1
This message was self-deleted by its author Ocelot II Nov 2022 #2
Ty so much for sharing! SheltieLover Nov 2022 #4
Harry Bosch was my favorite until Gamache. nt duhneece Nov 2022 #9
I like the Duncan Kincaid series by Deborah Crombie, Ocelot II Nov 2022 #3
Lol SheltieLover Nov 2022 #5
I only like the ones that have cats. Ocelot II Nov 2022 #6
Your overlords would bd pleased with your dedication. SheltieLover Nov 2022 #7
I like the dark ones, too, Ocelot Diamond_Dog Nov 2022 #10
If you like Nordic noir, there are some good Icelandic mystery writers: Ocelot II Nov 2022 #12
Thanks a bunch! Diamond_Dog Nov 2022 #13
My favorite series gets a new one tomorrow. Detective Gamache duhneece Nov 2022 #8
Me, too! Love that series. Ocelot II Nov 2022 #11
Love the series. MLAA Nov 2022 #16
So here's why I don't like cozy mysteries. Ocelot II Nov 2022 #14
Yup, often this is the case, but not all. SheltieLover Nov 2022 #15
Have you read any of Kay Hooper's Bishop series? wnylib Nov 2022 #18
These sound great, thx so much! SheltieLover Nov 2022 #19
Thanks. I will look into these. wnylib Nov 2022 #22
Try Dianne Kelly's Paw Enforcement then. SheltieLover Nov 2022 #23
And the amazing Mrs. Pollifax for culfural flair! SheltieLover Nov 2022 #20
Just checked ouf one of Hoopdr's ebooks from library SheltieLover Nov 2022 #21
It's that exact predictability that makes them so popular to their fans. Mind candy. MLAA Nov 2022 #17
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