This may be the single greatest aviation story ever told, its about the iconic SR-71, the story by former SR-71 jockey Brian Shul, heres the ultimate aviation troll:
It occurred when Walt and I were flying our final training sortie. Ripping across the barren deserts, I could already see the coast of California from the Arizona border. The predominant radio chatter was from Los Angeles Center, far below us, while they had us on their scope, we were in uncontrolled airspace and normally would not talk to them.
We listened as the shaky voice of a lone Cessna pilot asked Center for a readout of his ground speed. Center replied: November Charlie 175, Im showing you at ninety knots on the ground. Just moments after the Cessnas inquiry, a Twin Beech piped up, in a rather superior tone, asking for his ground speed. I have you at one hundred and twenty-five knots of ground speed. Boy, I thought, the Beechcraft really must think he is dazzling his Cessna brethren. Then out of the blue, a navy F-18 pilot out of NAS Lemoore came up on frequency. Center, Dusty 52 ground speed check.
Im thinking to myself, hey, Dusty 52 has a ground speed indicator in that million-dollar cockpit, so why is he asking Center for a readout? Then I got it, ol Dusty here is making sure that every bug smasher from Mount Whitney to the Mojave knows what true speed is. Hes the fastest dude in the valley today, and he just wants everyone to know how much fun he is having in his new Hornet. And the reply, always with that same, calm, voice, with more distinct alliteration than emotion: Dusty 52, we have you at 620 on the ground.
Then, I heard it. The click of the mic button from the back seat. Very professionally, and with no emotion, Walter spoke: Los Angeles Center, Aspen 20, can you give us a ground speed check? There was no hesitation, and the replay came as if was an everyday request. Aspen 20, I show you at one thousand eight hundred and forty-two knots, across the ground.
I think it was the forty-two knots that I liked the best, so accurate to deliver that information without hesitation, and you just knew he was smiling. Then Walt keyed the mic once again to say, in his most fighter-pilot-like voice: Ah, Center, much thanks, were showing closer to nineteen hundred on the money. We heard a little crack in the Center voice, when L.A.came back with, Roger that Aspen, Your equipment is probably more accurate than ours. You boys have a good one.
For just one day, it truly was fun being the fastest guys out there.