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[benEzra]

30. Glocks, Springfields, the Smith & Wesson M&P, the FN FNS, etc. are all good choices.

I prefer 9mm, because it offers much better capacity than .45 and is gentler to shoot. Some makes/models offer manual safeties in addition to the safety on the trigger, and some don't. It basically comes down to what fits your hand better, and what has the features you want in terms of sights, size, capacity, etc. and whether or not you want a manual safety lever.

If you decide to ever get any other guns in addition to the pistol, you might also consider something like this, which uses the same ammunition (9mm) and has a good reputation for reliability:

http://www.cabelas.com/product/HI-POINT-SEMI-AUTO-RIFLES/2066767.uts?

There are also more expensive 9mm carbines out there that use Glock magazines. If you do get more into target shooting someday, there are small rifles in other calibers that fill the target and defensive roles even better, albeit at greater cost; shotguns are also great, but intimidating to shoot. But a 9mm pistol is an excellent choice.

I'd also suggest getting a good, reliable flashlight (or a weapon mounted light) and learn to use it in conjunction with the pistol. Being able to identify what you are shooting at in the dark is important. Even a little $20 Streamlight Microstream or Stylus will work, all the way up to a Surefire or something.

For safe storage with quick access, something like a Gunvault might be useful, if you feel you need one.

https://www.amazon.com/Gunvault-GV1000S-Mini-Vault-Standard/dp/B001C601KA/ref=sr_1_4?s=hi&ie=UTF8&qid=1468166829&sr=1-4&keywords=gunvault
https://www.amazon.com/GunVault-SV-500-SpeedVault-Handgun/dp/B006OGNLKA/ref=sr_1_2?s=hi&ie=UTF8&qid=1468166829&sr=1-2&keywords=gunvault

I hope that's not too much information. I'm so sorry you had to go through what you did.