Just "throwing my hands in the air" over my little buddy

[ScratchCat]

This is difficult. I've never posted about pets in this forum. I doubt anyone has any solution, but here goes...

About four years ago, my little grey tortie kitten that I had rescued from outdoors got pregnant before I could get her spayed(she was indoor/outdoor). She had four kittens and because I didn't want more stray cats and I planned on keeping her, I let her have the kittens indoors. She had three solid black(one male, two females) and one traditional calico. I was able to adopt out two, which were the black females(a friend of mine who owns rentals agreed to let one of her tenants take two cats and because she doesn't typically allow pets I gave the tenant the females). I have kept the calico and black male.

I had the calico spayed at six months to solve the "immediate problem" with her brother becoming mature. Because I had already been to the vet three times that calendar year(euthanized elderly cat, spayed mother, spayed kitten), I didn't get the black male neutered. You probably know where this is going.

About a year ago(when he was 3), the male started urinating outside the box and spraying. Its ramped up over the past six months or so. It seems "vindictive" because he does it every time I am doing anything that doesn't involve him and the couch. He will go to his box, walk right out and urinate in one of a growing number of places to. Nothing I do discourages him. When I clean it up, he then wants the rag and the hand I used to clean with. He has followed me to the pantry and tried to grab my hand with the rag several times now. He has a complete obsession with his sister's back side even though she is spayed. Wont leave her alone. Constantly sniffing and licking her backside, especially when she come's out of the litter box. Stands over her and bites her neck(she's bigger and can handle herself) in the traditional mating/dominance ritual.

I love this cat so much even though he is doing this. He has ruined my house. Almost all my furniture is garbage now. I can't afford to re-sheet rock a house. I can't take him to a shelter; I'd never be able to live with myself. I can't put him outside because I live in a townhome neighborhood and there are stray cats. I'm afraid that even if I get him neutered, it wont help. To make it worse, he has never been out of the house and is deathly afraid of anyone that's not me. Voices on the stoop send him upstairs to hide. I can't have him euthanized just because of this.

I am so distraught, I just don't know what to do. My entire life at my house revolves around chasing this cat and trying to stop him from urinating on walls, doors and furniture. His sister is tired of him, but still loves him too.

Like I said, I doubt anyone has a solution, but I just had to vent.

Thanks.

Sincerely,

ScratchCat