I did not mind all the sacrifices but stealing my joy as a mother is beyond cruel

[MichMary]

21. I understand.

My son, the child of my heart, the joy of my life, turned into a surly monster his senior year of high school. He went from being an easy going, droll delight to someone I didn't know, and often didn't want to be around.

Simple questions on innocuous, seemingly neutral subjects ("Did you get your homework done last night?" ) caused him to erupt into abusive accusations of interfering in his business.

Many, many days I curled up and cried after he left for school.

I had been his strongest supporter. I had gone to bat for him when he was on the verge of losing his scholarships over a couple of incompletes. I received no gratitude for anything I had ever done.

That was half his life ago. He is now 34. Our relationship healed through time, and space. The truth is, he was ready for college, for independence.

He is a parent now. He understands everything much better now--how your entire life can be wrapped up in a little person who has such complete power to destroy you emotionally. He has even tacitly acknowledged that some of the limits I placed on him were important. And I know that he will do the same things I did. He will worry. He will try his best to guide his little people through the trials and tribulations of adolescence. There will be times when his children will rip his heart out, just because they can. I also know that he will always love them, no matter how badly they hurt him.

Hang in there. Things will get better. The time and effort you put into building a relationship with him will pay off.