I did not mind all the sacrifices but stealing my joy as a mother is beyond cruel

[Freddie]

19. You have no idea how universal this is

Both my kids put me through utter hell as teens and beyond.
My daughter started in 9th grade by refusing to go to school most days. Every morning was a screaming match and I would eventually give up and have to go to work. Slimy boyfriends, drugs (angel dust, ecstasy - luckily only 1 kid did heroin). Arrested for shoplifting. Many visits to counselors and a shrink who would prescribe one antidepressant after another hoping something would help. At 18 still in 10th grade she dropped out, saying at this point she might as well just get a GED.
She got a job at a nursing home in the kitchen and helping people with their meals. People depended on her to show up, a new thing, and she did, every day. She decided she didn't want to work in food service forever but liked helping the seniors. Got her GED, went to community college, transferred to a local 4-year school on an academic scholarship - there was a real smart kid hiding behind the attitude. She's now 31, an RN working on her MSN, married with 2 kids.
My son - HS honor student, accepted to a prestigious university - has his future detoured due to drugs. 5 years off and on (mostly on) a heroin addict. In recovery now 2.5 years and doing great. Good job, great girlfriend, managed to finish his bachelors and looking at grad school. But the years of his addiction were more hell than anything my daughter put me through and I'm still sometimes waiting for the other shoe to drop, can't help it.
Moral, if there is any - never stop doing the things YOU like to do. Go out with friends, get away. Remember your child is an ADULT and responsible for their own choices. I've also felt the "judgement" bullshit from others (he's this way because of his parents!) - they can go straight to hell.