I think the biggest asset I had in doing it was that our contractor is a really cool guy. We were friends, he had done small work for us but he had never built a house. Our plumber called him a "picky little bastard" and that is why we asked him to build this house. He did it with a crew of 3 guys, we worked together every day on it. He listened and I listened and when there were problems we worked it out together. His first house, won the Home Builder Association first prize, most of the people in that association did not know who he was but he won. 
Then the bottom dropped out of the housing market. He has not built another. Because of his way of working with others it was an absolutely fun experience, pretty much stress free except having to figure out how to stay under budget. I did it, he helped, and I find myself thinking it would be fun again. Too bad I don't have the money!
I love that you did a lot of the inside yourself. Totally cool.
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