Not sure if this is the right forum

[Capt. Obvious]

but here goes.

How do you deal with someone who is constantly in pain and lashes out? Do you recognize the lashing out if you're doing it?

Sometimes I forget and react in anger at the lashing out but I've been trying lately to not react. It's hard. The best I can seem to do is start to react, and stop part way in and leave them alone. That doesn't seem to be the best option depending on the day as I'm apparently abandoning. It's hard to keep my emotions in check as the lashing out comes out of nowhere and I immediately go into fight or flight mode.