What NOT to say

[Irishonly]

2. Thanks for posting this, Jump

I am still amazed at how much pain people can cause because they don't think. My breast cancer didn't show up in a mammogram. I has had the biospy and knew I had cancer when I got the you don't have breast cancer letter from my mammogram. I was told a sonogram probaly not have picked it up either. My right breast was all tumor and I also had never missed a mammogram.

People need to understand the person fighting the cancer and those who love her/him are doing what they can to beat it and to also get through one day at a time. I couldn't have worked although I wanted to. My cousin missed very little work. Everyone is different and people forget the patient and their loved ones know what is best for them.

The worst thing I was ever told I was lucky that it was only breast cancer and it was my MIL that told me that. It cut through my heart like a knife and our relationship has never been the same. There is no "only" cancer. All cancer is terrible and it is always in the back of your mind. The five year survivor rate is only a number as is the stage. A number cannot define who we are. Our fight defines us.

I have been in bad shape for quite a while. I am starting to feel like a humman again and am starting to practice Reiki again. When I am a little stronger I will email you. I am investigating the long distance with crystals. I am past the dubious stage now and am starting to think it's a good thing.

Keep strong. You may not know it yet but you are turning into a great teacher yourself. You stay strong and we will be here.