Radiation starts today. [View all]
More accurately - today is the dry run, then for the next 15 days I make the 39 mile trek (78 round trip) for roughly 15 minutes of treatment.
This is the most challenging part of my treatment. I am intentionally creating a very small risk of a very aggressive cancer, in order to prevent a much larger risk of a very well-behaved cancer. I've seen various numbers for the risk - the largest of which is 1 in 500. (Data is not very good because the risk increases with time since treatment - and radiation has changed so much over time that there is not good information about the precise kind of radiation therapy I'll be getting.) My daughter and I tend to collect medical unicorns, so the fact that the risk is very small risk is not comforting to me - I am used to being the "1 in," rather than the 499. My great-grandmother also died from a cancer that was almost certainly caused by radium implants used to treat her fibroids (a disease I inherited from her). Different time, much less sophistication in the treatment - but an iatrogenic cancer death.
I've decided to be very intentional about going through this process: I'll be making a meditative work of art (inspired by Zentangle), adding a section on a daily basis in connection with my radiation therapy. When I prepare food for others I enjoy it and think of it as I'm going through the process as a tangible act of caring for the recipient. I'm hoping to shift my thinking from resenting the very large amount of time I spend preparing food for diabetic self as an act of caring for me. I'm also going to make a mighty effort to drag my bicycle out of storage and ride it - next weekend would normally be the weekend I take a 150 mile ride, but I have not yet been on my bike this year. It's time.
Anyone else approach their radiation (or chemo) with an intentionality for self-care? Any practices you used?