Why all this "G**" S*** in recovery?

[tavalon]

13. Hmmm, I hadn't thought about doing it that way

It's not like I have a personal problem with doing 4 through 12 in order (I have a pretty strong belief that I wouldn't be able to do any of the steps until the first three were good and settled in me).

As I was writing my searching and fearless (?) moral inventory, I remembered half way through that this was to be honest, not brutal and that my inventory needed to include things that are good and right with me as well as the character defects.

BTW, I don't actually know if everyone actually writes their inventory, but since my therapist was my sponsor the last time, there was no way I was going to remember and stay accurate without the writing. This time, because I hit the door to the rooms so fast and the first three steps were so blessedly easy this time, I don't yet have a sponsor so I need to write it so I don't forget or try to layer on the lies again.

Another thing that's different for me this time is that while I have character defects and want to remove them, I'm not nearly as ashamed as I was the first time. So the once daunting fifth step isn't so daunting. I remember just the other day, saying to my hubby, "hey, I found another character defect. wanna hear it?"