I'm hoping this forum will help...because I could really use some.

[tavalon]

38. As an enabler, I have to chose to be different, not only with the addict who took me to my knees

but with every person in my life. And if they get mad at my new, stronger barriers, well, I didn't cause it and I can't fix it. It's interesting that one of my partners has a fairly new partner who is a recovering alcoholic and from that standpoint, she couldn't have picked a better house - we aren't complete teatotalers, but we rarely have alcohol in the house and parties are about fun, not mind altering and we've been like that since way before she came along. often new relationships in the poly realm cause a ripple effect so she could have influenced us to drink less if we really drank much before she came in. It's one way in which I think we fit well. She's not bothered by seeing people moderately drinking and we don't usually even do that. My other partner has a beer once in a while but my IBS says no alcohol and it is blessedly not my drug of choice. My drug of choice is relationships and how I can micromanage them better than anyone in the whole wide world (irony alert - that would be my disease talking.).