Negging

[MadrasT]

15. I don't know how significant the number is.

The type of person (male or female) on whom this would work would have to have such a low self esteem that any kind of attention would work thus negating the need to try something ugly and deceptive.

The reason folks with low self-esteem respond to negative attention (rather than positive) is because it is the relationship dynamic they are used to, so it feels "normal" to them and they (unconsciously) seek it out because it feels familiar.

On the other side of the relationship dynamic, people who are predisposed to wanting to control another person using this methodology are drawn to people who respond to this kind of negative treatment, thus perpetuating the cycle.

This is a relationship dynamic I am extremely familiar with and I know a lot about the psychology that goes with this behavior as I have done a lot of research and work in this area.

So yes, this behavior absolutely "works" and exists in the real world.

I have also learned that if someone personally has normal-to-high self esteem, it can be very hard for them to comprehend the kind of mental anguish and unusual thought processes and behaviors and coping mechanisms that a person with low self-esteem experiences as reality. A rational person with normal-to-high self esteem looks at this and goes "WTF? Who would put up with this nonsense and WHY?" I get that.

So if you (Steven) personally have normal-to-high self esteem, I can understand that it might be incomprehensible to you as it is so foreign to your own way of being. (That is NOT meant to be any kind of "jab" or sarcastic remark, I am just trying to frame why this might seem hard to imagine to you or others!!!)

I don't know how "common" it is but I have definitely seen it "work" in the wild. It may indeed be minimal, but it is really out there.