Feminists

gkhouston

(21,642 posts)

31. I've also found some either/or thinking that's surprised me at times.

Fri Feb 24, 2012, 09:29 PM

Feb 2012

I have an advanced degree in a technical field and have usually been in work environments that are heavily male. Although I've encountered my share of misogyny, most treat me as a colleague, yet a lot of men are surprised/confused/amused when they become aware that I do "feminine" things. Once I was at a conference and during a break went over to speak to some female colleagues. One brought out a piece of embroidery she was working on, so the conversation morphed from the conference to which kinds of needlework we did/didn't enjoy. A male colleague joined us and was caught off guard that four "technical" women he knew enjoyed a pastime that is so traditionally feminine. I guess it's better to be a colleague who surprises people with "feminine" hobbies than a "feminine" person who surprises someone by possessing intellect, but I'd rather just be thought of a person who has a wide range of interests/abilities.

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Men Don't Recognize 'Benevolent' Sexism: Study [View all] seabeyond Dec 2011 OP

It's similar to the subtle racism of the Asian "model minority" stereotype...that Asians are smart, iris27 Dec 2011 #1

both my boys excel at english and communication and not math.... oh noes. seabeyond Dec 2011 #2

I was a totally girly girl iverglas Dec 2011 #6

I've also found some either/or thinking that's surprised me at times. gkhouston Feb 2012 #31

Engineering? Rex Feb 2012 #34

interesting how both women and men have double binds iverglas Dec 2011 #3

I am well aware that many women expect the 'ladies first' treatment... redqueen Dec 2011 #4

"People should just be polite" iverglas Dec 2011 #7

Hah yes, good point... redqueen Dec 2011 #10

Also, in some middle eastern cultures, men are served first in restaurants, walk ahead of women, etc spooky3 Dec 2011 #14

a man who converted to judism and is taking it way far seabeyond Dec 2011 #15

Oh how hard to watch! Tumbulu Feb 2012 #30

I appreciate a heavy door being held for me... Mimosa Dec 2011 #21

But does it matter to you whether it's a man or a woman who helps you that way? Gormy Cuss Dec 2011 #22

Oh no, I'd never get offended. redqueen Dec 2011 #23

damn, can you stuff any more into your posts? lol seabeyond Dec 2011 #5

"i don't get that" iverglas Dec 2011 #8

actually, seabeyond Dec 2011 #9

The only rationale I can think of... redqueen Dec 2011 #11

i generally made as much as the man, seabeyond Dec 2011 #12

"graciously paying to my face redqueen Dec 2011 #13

that's the whole deal at that eHarmony board iverglas Dec 2011 #16

Wow... redqueen Dec 2011 #17

If a man doesn't think you're worth paying for, seabeyond Dec 2011 #18

I see it as the same thing as redqueen Dec 2011 #19

agree. there are enough of us seabeyond Dec 2011 #20

I think the "who pays for" argument is not just about who is underpaid. spooky3 Dec 2011 #25

Excellent, excellent post. redqueen Dec 2011 #26

thank you! spooky3 Dec 2011 #27

you know what, i am really tired of my behavior being influenced by what some man thinks about me seabeyond Dec 2011 #28

"because of the man's value system" iverglas Dec 2011 #29

this morning on the way to school, my youngest son held the door open for me and waved me thru seabeyond Dec 2011 #24

Can someone explain to me why mistertrickster Feb 2012 #32

I always think of the Titanic movie. Neoma Feb 2012 #33

It specifies gender and declares a preference. How is it NOT sexist? n/t Gormy Cuss Feb 2012 #35

So if men (as a group) are bigger and stronger and the ship is going down, mistertrickster Feb 2012 #36

Men as individuals weren't always bigger and stronger. Elderly men, for example. Gormy Cuss Feb 2012 #37

I'm trying to figure out what the ideal way would be mistertrickster Feb 2012 #38

The feminist ideal would be the same as anyone's -- enough lifeboats. Gormy Cuss Feb 2012 #39

Okay, I saw "Titanic" too . . . mistertrickster Feb 2012 #43

Lacking time, there's evidence that a fight-or-flight instinct supersedes social order. Gormy Cuss Feb 2012 #47

Parents with small children. The elderly, sick, infirm, or otherwise handicapped. Warren DeMontague Feb 2012 #40

Aren't you discriminating against the handicapped mistertrickster Feb 2012 #41

Am I? Warren DeMontague Feb 2012 #42

Once you abandon "women and children first" mistertrickster Feb 2012 #44

Funny, I thought I answered that. PARENTS with small children. The elderly. Ppl in wheelchairs. Warren DeMontague Feb 2012 #45

Yup, that's a pretty good answer mistertrickster Feb 2012 #46

What does going first have to do with gender? quakerboy Feb 2012 #48