Feminists

seabeyond

(110,159 posts)

24. this morning on the way to school, my youngest son held the door open for me and waved me thru

Fri Dec 16, 2011, 11:52 AM

Dec 2011

after you, he says.

this thread popped into my mind, but more, i wanted to go the other way to turn light out in basement my other son left on.

you shot me down, he says. i was trying to be a gentleman....

hence, our conversation on the way to school discussing this and what i was taught yesterday. and the uncomfortable position of not sure now what to do and how that makes things awkward. i found in NO the men in hubby's family did not necessary live by this manner. whereas the guys in my family have always been and will always be. so in NO i would start going forward in the restaurant to realize these men dont do it, creating awkward movement, forward, stop, hesitate. they come around, remember, stop..... lol

son and i concluded whatever the rule is, we need CONSISTENT.

but it was a fun conversation driving to school this morning.

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Highlight:

Men Don't Recognize 'Benevolent' Sexism: Study [View all] seabeyond Dec 2011 OP

It's similar to the subtle racism of the Asian "model minority" stereotype...that Asians are smart, iris27 Dec 2011 #1

both my boys excel at english and communication and not math.... oh noes. seabeyond Dec 2011 #2

I was a totally girly girl iverglas Dec 2011 #6

I've also found some either/or thinking that's surprised me at times. gkhouston Feb 2012 #31

Engineering? Rex Feb 2012 #34

interesting how both women and men have double binds iverglas Dec 2011 #3

I am well aware that many women expect the 'ladies first' treatment... redqueen Dec 2011 #4

"People should just be polite" iverglas Dec 2011 #7

Hah yes, good point... redqueen Dec 2011 #10

Also, in some middle eastern cultures, men are served first in restaurants, walk ahead of women, etc spooky3 Dec 2011 #14

a man who converted to judism and is taking it way far seabeyond Dec 2011 #15

Oh how hard to watch! Tumbulu Feb 2012 #30

I appreciate a heavy door being held for me... Mimosa Dec 2011 #21

But does it matter to you whether it's a man or a woman who helps you that way? Gormy Cuss Dec 2011 #22

Oh no, I'd never get offended. redqueen Dec 2011 #23

damn, can you stuff any more into your posts? lol seabeyond Dec 2011 #5

"i don't get that" iverglas Dec 2011 #8

actually, seabeyond Dec 2011 #9

The only rationale I can think of... redqueen Dec 2011 #11

i generally made as much as the man, seabeyond Dec 2011 #12

"graciously paying to my face redqueen Dec 2011 #13

that's the whole deal at that eHarmony board iverglas Dec 2011 #16

Wow... redqueen Dec 2011 #17

If a man doesn't think you're worth paying for, seabeyond Dec 2011 #18

I see it as the same thing as redqueen Dec 2011 #19

agree. there are enough of us seabeyond Dec 2011 #20

I think the "who pays for" argument is not just about who is underpaid. spooky3 Dec 2011 #25

Excellent, excellent post. redqueen Dec 2011 #26

thank you! spooky3 Dec 2011 #27

you know what, i am really tired of my behavior being influenced by what some man thinks about me seabeyond Dec 2011 #28

"because of the man's value system" iverglas Dec 2011 #29

this morning on the way to school, my youngest son held the door open for me and waved me thru seabeyond Dec 2011 #24

Can someone explain to me why mistertrickster Feb 2012 #32

I always think of the Titanic movie. Neoma Feb 2012 #33

It specifies gender and declares a preference. How is it NOT sexist? n/t Gormy Cuss Feb 2012 #35

So if men (as a group) are bigger and stronger and the ship is going down, mistertrickster Feb 2012 #36

Men as individuals weren't always bigger and stronger. Elderly men, for example. Gormy Cuss Feb 2012 #37

I'm trying to figure out what the ideal way would be mistertrickster Feb 2012 #38

The feminist ideal would be the same as anyone's -- enough lifeboats. Gormy Cuss Feb 2012 #39

Okay, I saw "Titanic" too . . . mistertrickster Feb 2012 #43

Lacking time, there's evidence that a fight-or-flight instinct supersedes social order. Gormy Cuss Feb 2012 #47

Parents with small children. The elderly, sick, infirm, or otherwise handicapped. Warren DeMontague Feb 2012 #40

Aren't you discriminating against the handicapped mistertrickster Feb 2012 #41

Am I? Warren DeMontague Feb 2012 #42

Once you abandon "women and children first" mistertrickster Feb 2012 #44

Funny, I thought I answered that. PARENTS with small children. The elderly. Ppl in wheelchairs. Warren DeMontague Feb 2012 #45

Yup, that's a pretty good answer mistertrickster Feb 2012 #46

What does going first have to do with gender? quakerboy Feb 2012 #48