Men's Group
In reply to the discussion: Charles Bruce and debtors prison [View all]Warren DeMontague
(80,708 posts)which is, by no means, the only or best means of arranging work/home life, mind you;
but, in the cases where mom has been the primary caregiver and the dad has been the primary breadwinner, it makes SENSE for the mom to continue to be the primary caregiver and for the dad to continue to provide financially.
Of course, if the genders are reversed with a SAHD and a working mom, I would think that the same would apply in that direction.
But I sense that the "objections" of many of these "Dads" (and no, kids aren't a consumer good, but they are a RESPONSIBILITY and a big part of that responsibility is financial, absolutely) is that all of a sudden they feel like they're paying but not getting the same return. They're financing (in their mind) an ex who they're no longer involved with, and they're entirely possibly not as directly involved in their kids lives, given that they're not living with them.
And I agree that custody is a thorny issue- but again, does it make sense to mandate full 50% custody between a previously stay at home parent and one who is working out of the house 40+ hrs a week? How is that supposed to work, exactly?
Like I said, I'm also a child of divorce. I came from a generation where in the space of about 10 years many of my peers experienced the same. It sucks, and there are no easy answers. It's one reason why I was always determined not to get married & have kids until I was damn sure I was prepared to fully commit to making it work.
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