Just wanted to wish all of you BOGgers ...

[IrishAyes]

57. Great selections.

I don't want a funeral per se either. Just a wild Irish wake. But odds are certain people in my rather limited circle will insist on some kind of 'religious' service, which I'll refuse to attend. They'll tell (nice, I hope) stories about what they honestly think they knew about me, and very little will be accurate. There'll be no weeping and gnashing of teeth, just a polite imagined duty done. Seems like I've become something of a 'town character'. Apparently some of the things I had to say at the last town council meeting regarding the illegal business temporarily located in our residential neighborhood riled the self-righteous fundie board members. They know quite well they've broken the law but are hoping the man in question will be able to afford a place on the highway and move out before the six months they gave the new town attorney to study the matter.

Anway, in my objections I said it was grossly immoral to sacrifice the legitimate financial interests of surrounding neighbors just so one family could break the law with impunity. Most insulting to the board, I closed with the statement that I didn't want to be sacrificed on the altar of mammon. That's the surest way to rile fundies - throw the Holy Bible at them. I meant it to rile them, and apparently it did. Seems to have spread around and pleased enough people that there might be a few wishing to bid me a polite if not overly fond farewell at the proper time.

One thing the local nuts won't get a chance to do is to paw through my personal stuff or even set foot on the property for an auction, though. I've willed all the personal possessions to the very thrifty Mennonites with the provision that if they wish to sell any of it, said sale must take place no less than fifty miles from town and not be advertised here either. I left the house itself to a charity, which doubtless will sell it. But once again, it can only be sold in a certain manner to keep the local lookie loos out.

Knowing I won't get a proper Irish wake makes me a little cranky.