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Beatlelvr

(771 posts)
Sun Nov 30, 2025, 05:59 PM Nov 30

Any other single no kids, no grandkids aunt or uncle who feels invisible at the holidays with family? [View all]

I'm having a hard time with this, especially this year. Went to Thanksgiving at brother's house, SIL, their two grown daughters, 5 grandchildren, plus one's boyfriend. I was in a funk to begin with and probably shouldn't have gone. But once all the 20- somethings all started talking at once about the most inane things, I couldn't stand it anymore. By the way, its always like this. Its exhausting. And yes, I'm 74, losing patience as I age. For years I've just abided it, anxious to escape. And these are all good people, and not a Republican in the bunch either! Brother and SIL held up pretty well, but it sent me over the edge this time. And no one noticed when I got up and slipped out the door. I left the two dishes I made.

When I got home 5 minutes later, I texted my apology to SIL and said I'd be back next day to retrieve my stuff.

I know the problem is ME, and I've tried to deal with this for decades. Basically, when you have no kids or grandkids you are invisible. Yes, I could engage more with the discussion, but the discussion is usually so boring, all about the kids and school and sports, ad nauseum.

Question is, what am I going to do at Christmas? I'm considering starting counseling, going to call Kaiser tomorrow. There must be a way to continue being with my family so as not to alienate them or make myself feel the odd one out all the time.

Have any of you dealt with this issue?
Any words of wisdom? Love you guys.

35 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Sorry; that's a difficult place to be in Chasstev365 Nov 30 #1
Thank you Beatlelvr Nov 30 #2
I am widowed and go to my daughter's home for the holidays now Marthe48 Nov 30 #3
You are right Beatlelvr Nov 30 #9
Our family gave up on trying to get together once everyone grew up. 1WorldHope Nov 30 #4
Along those lines... Beatlelvr Nov 30 #10
I hear you. I'm single with no children and feel Boomerproud Nov 30 #5
Like your name too! Beatlelvr Nov 30 #11
71 here, no kids. Staph Nov 30 #6
Yes, exactly Beatlelvr Nov 30 #12
We are all forgotten eventually. Do you know the full names of your great grandparents? Scrivener7 Nov 30 #19
I'm one of the genealogy geeks in the family. Staph Nov 30 #26
It saddens me that you think of yourself as a "dead end branch." Scrivener7 Monday #33
Hey Staph, True Dough Nov 30 #24
I can sure relate... Fyrefox Nov 30 #7
Thank you for your post Beatlelvr Nov 30 #14
Considering therapy is always a good idea yobrault1 Nov 30 #8
Those sound like good ideas. Beatlelvr Nov 30 #15
Let me take your questions one at a time.... anciano Nov 30 #13
I'm thankful for DU also! Beatlelvr Nov 30 #16
I have kids, grandkids, and still feel blue ar holiday time. Bmoboy Nov 30 #17
My closest family drmeow Nov 30 #18
I hope you feel better. Maybe you have pets to focus on or start a project. tazcat Nov 30 #20
I miss being a nurse, I'd work all the holidays and get holiday pay Warpy Nov 30 #21
I'm alone. But I'm a loner. ... littlemissmartypants Nov 30 #22
Love you back! Beatlelvr Nov 30 #28
TY ❤️ littlemissmartypants Monday #31
Maybe try this for Christmas AverageOldGuy Nov 30 #23
Why do you think Americans started making football the center of Thanksgiving? mtngirl47 Nov 30 #25
Actually, I DO knit and crochet Beatlelvr Nov 30 #27
Hey--have you watched the new Beatles Anthology on Disney? mtngirl47 Nov 30 #30
Old, divorced, no kids, I no longer get invited to holiday gatherings Ocelot II Nov 30 #29
Yes,somewhat similar Calico20 Monday #32
Married with no kids, and that would be us if our family lived closer. tanyev Monday #34
My sis is a widow with no children Diamond_Dog Monday #35
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