Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member Latest Breaking News Editorials & Other Articles General Discussion The DU Lounge All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search

buzzycrumbhunger

(1,577 posts)
2. My ex totally ruined it (and everything else) for me
Sat Dec 13, 2025, 06:47 PM
Saturday

I was stuck with a malignant narcissist (yes, that’s how I recognized the orange shitgibbon early on…) His birthday was March 30. For years, we had to have xmas decorations up from just after Thanksgiving until *after* his bday… Yes, FOUR months every year!

One year, my mum came to visit for the holidays. New Year’s was looming and as we were sitting around one afternoon, she suggested it was a good time to clear the clutter and start the new year fresh. Yes!

He came home from work that day and just exploded. Everything had to be put back up and collect dust for another three months.

Took me 23 years to figure out how to be able to support myself (a secret loan from my mum got me through a medical transcription course online) and when I had the opportunity, I bailed. Still lots of self esteem (still haven’t even considered dating…) and poverty issues even 20-some years later, but the biggest lingering thing is Christmas. The kids agreed we don’t need the pressure of gifting, and decorating is out completely—except for the year son won a Charlie Brown xmas tree at work, which was somehow very us.

Not burdened with religion (my family was catholic and ex became a holy roller thanks to a lunatic boss at his job), so we’re fine doing doing more nature-related stuff and otherwise ignoring the glitz and pretense.

Recommendations

1 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

I have a small tree I leave up year round, not particularly to celebrate the birth of Christ which I'm agnostic about... wcmagumba Saturday #1
That's a lovely gesture. sprinkleeninow Saturday #3
My ex totally ruined it (and everything else) for me buzzycrumbhunger Saturday #2
You brought back a memory! sprinkleeninow Saturday #4
So many parallels between you and me..not the holiday issues but it took longer than 23 years for me to run away Deuxcents Saturday #9
Solidarity! buzzycrumbhunger Saturday #10
That's never been me. I've always done Christmas more for myself, Crunchy Frog Saturday #5
I gave it all up years ago when husband and daughter refused to engage in anything....... joanbarnes Saturday #6
In 2024 my Mom died and my ex and I split. Xavier Breath Saturday #7
I've been on... 2naSalit Saturday #8
I only put up some bamagal62 Saturday #11
"the pressure & the noise" - that's it! - I've been a Lapsed Catholic since late adolescence, UTUSN Saturday #12
In a perfect world, people would opt to observe in a minimalist fashion, sprinkleeninow Saturday #13
The Orthodox 'bow' when signing themselves with the cross or passing in front of the altar. sprinkleeninow Saturday #17
I am so glad I clicked on this video. I am really impressed with this woman. llmart Saturday #14
Both sets of grandparents came to the US from Czechoslovakia and brought essentially very little with them. sprinkleeninow Saturday #16
I took to heart your words, your expression. Ty. 🫶 sprinkleeninow Saturday #18
I spent about 20 minutes reading the comments on youtube. llmart Sunday #20
100 percent TheFarEmpty Saturday #15
It was always a religious war in my family. hunter Saturday #19
Latest Discussions»General Discussion»This is me. Has been for ...»Reply #2