Unhinged: Trump makes bombshell announcement - Another Day - Brian Tyler Cohen

[TexasTowelie]

BTC: Donald Trump announces the Patriot Games. Yes, how dare we compare him to President Snow. This is just another day.

Christmas is merely one week away, which means that if you haven't gotten all your gift shopping done yet, you might want to get on it. And if you're still stumped on what to buy that special person in your life, Dr. Oz has a suggestion.

(cut to video)
Dr. Mehmet Oz: The creation of a penis costs on average in America according to this data- - high quality--$150,000 per child.

(cut to studio)
BTC: Well, yeah, if you want a name brand penis, but there are plenty of really good, less expensive knockoff penises that cost a fraction of that. Don't get fooled by flashy marketing gimmicks or low payment options. If you’re in the market for a new penis, I can’t say enough good things about Penith (image of mock corporate logo displayed). I mean, because my friends bought one and they seem to like it, but not me. Moving on.

(cut to video)
Dr Oz: Or a scrotoplasty where you add testicles? That's extra.

(cut to studio)
BTC: Paying extra for testicles? You don’t have to. Just use promo code Brian Tyler. Never mind.

This ballsy penis pronouncement by Dr. Oz was actually part of today's HHS press conference with RFK Jr. where they announced several measures that will essentially ban gender affirming care for transgender youth in America. Even in states, by the way, where it's legal.

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ABC News Reporter: HHS Secretary Kennedy just introduced what the department calls actions to protect children from harmful medical interventions.

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BTC: Yes, I think we can all agree that the party who stops at nothing to protect a pedophile are the people most concerned with the well-being of children. But let’s hear them out.

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RFK Jr.: This morning, I signed a declaration, sex rejecting procedures are neither safe nor effective treatment for children with gender dysphoria. So-called gender affirming care has inflicted lasting physical and psychological damage on vulnerable young people. This is not medicine. It is malpractice. We're done with junk science driven by ideological pursuits.

(cut to studio)
BTC: Hell yeah. They are so done. That's why RFK previously hired David Geier, the noted vaccine skeptic, to head up the study on vaccines causing autism. And probably why the Department of Energy hired a bunch of climate skeptics to head up their scientific review of climate change because they're done with ideological pursuits. I think I prefer a second opinion.

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Unidentified guest on ABC News: The HHS report, frankly, would make George Orwell blush. Uh it is a compendium of disinformation that dismisses decades of experience working with trans youth. Uh all of the research supporting those efforts and support replaces that with um authors who are all part of organizations that are dedicated to ending care for transgender people.

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BTC: Exactly. These are not objective studies. These are people with scientific political agendas, people with something to gain. It's like discovering that the head researcher on whether or not America should revise their age of consent laws was Dr. Matthew Gaetz. But Dr. Oz clearly doesn’t see it that way.

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Dr. Oz: We are in a weird place in America where we have mixed politics and medicine. And do you know what you get when you mix politics and medicine?

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BTC: Oh, uh, politicine? No, meditics?

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Dr. Oz: Politics. There is no medicine left.

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BTC: Oh well, uh, it's a good thing we don’t have a failed Senate candidate running this whole operation then, right ha ha ha ha? Yeah. The reason Dr. Oz and RFK are focusing all of their efforts on demonizing America's transgender youth is the same reason Trump made this announcement this morning.

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Trump: In the fall, we will host the first ever Patriot Games, an unprecedented 4-day athletic event featuring the greatest high school athletes, one young man and one young woman from each state and territory. But I promise there will be no men playing in women's sports. You're not going to see that. You'll see everything but that.

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BTC: Oh, thank God. I mean, I would hate to tarnish the legitimacy of these Patriot Games. I mean, next thing you know, some trans-American could receive the FIFA Peace Prize. And to sully such a days old honor like that, well, that would be unconscionable.

And not to uh acknowledge the elephant in the room here, but can we just stop for a second and reflect on how fucking Hunger Gamey all of this is, where children from different districts compete in the capital for a wealthy president’s pleasure. Trump is the only guy who watched these movies and thought Snow was the hero. But the real game going on here is the one being played by Donald Trump and the Republicans. The reason these only two gender games are even taking place next year during their America 250 celebration is that it allows them to continue their demagogue driven culture war under the guise of merely hosting some America loving athletic event.

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Trump: This will be a time like you've never had in your lives. America 250. Thank you. I love you all.

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BTC: Unless you're trans or a legitimate doctor or a Democrat, journalist, late night talk show host, immigrant, protester, but other than that, he loves all of you. The sad reality is that these guys don't give two shits about the trans issue. It’s just the only political strategy they have left. When you've accomplished absolutely nothing and this is the campaign ad that presumably delivered you the White House.

(cut to Trump negative campaign ad)
Kamala is for they/them. President Trump is for you. I'm Donald J. Trump and I approve this message.

(cut to studio)
BTC: It makes sense that they'd want to fall back on it. Remember, these are not people who govern. They are people who campaign. And when you're getting crushed in the polls, when your candidates are getting trounced in elections all across the country, what else can you do but revert back to the same fear-mongering tactics that brought you victory in the past? And correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel like I've seen a similar strategy play out before.

(cut to video montage)
Trump: These illegal caravans will not be allowed into the United States.
Unidentified Fox News Guest: Thousands of migrants are headed heading towards El Paso in just the latest caravan.
Jesse Watters: And word's gotten out. You can see caravans marching for miles and miles. I'm sorry. The Biden travel agency has raised expectations.
Mike Johnson: So right now, millions and millions of illegals, they've come across the border since the borders czar Kamala Harris opened it wide with Joe Biden and many of them are trying to register to vote.

(cut to studio)
BTC: Yes. That's why these people come to America. They don't yearn for a freer society, more employment opportunities, or simply a brighter future for them and their families. No, they brave months-long journeys through horrific weather conditions and gang-infested areas, all to acquire the one thing they can’t get back home. One of these stickers (image of an “I Voted” sticker displayed).

If Republicans could point to their fulfilled promises instead of having to stoke Americans fears, they would. But they have delivered on none of them. They didn't end the wars on day one. They didn't protect earned benefits. They didn't make IVF free. They didn't usher in a manufacturing renaissance. They didn't bring about a jobs boom or make groceries cheaper or lower inflation. And so they didn't come up with a healthcare plan that was cheaper and more comprehensive as evidenced by Trump pawning a healthcare question off on Dr. Dong himself today.

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Trump: How would you say that?
Dr.Oz: I, I agree with the president. We, we have some ideas out there. Congress is working through some concepts.

(cut to studio)
BTC: Some ideas and concepts. So essentially the same thing I told my teachers in high school when I'd done absolutely none of the work-- presumably because I was busy taking care of that hair.

Donald Trump has spent a decade making promise after promise to middle class voters when his only intention ever was to actually deliver for the wealthy. Which is why I find it pretty rich that his administration is harping on the issue of gender affirming surgery. Because frankly, he's the one constantly focused on being a dick.

(cut to video)
Dr. Oz: Or a scrotoplasty where you add testicles. That's extra.

(cut to studio)
BTC: Tell you what, I’ll spring for it.

[Timeflyer]

1. Remember-guns are not a threat, transgender kids & their loving parents are. And tRump hardly knew that Epstein guy..

[GiqueCee]

2. When all these babbling blowhards...

... like RFK the Lesser, Dr. Ooze, and all the rest of the sycophantic swine that enable the South End of a Northbound Yak in his frenzied efforts to destroy America are finally removed from positions for which they were grotesquely unqualified, what will the poor dears do? I think every one of 'em will be hard pressed to even find work cleaning toilets with their toothbrush.
Their pitiful pleas for gainful employment should fall on deaf ears. The schadenfreude will be most pleasurable.