THE LAWLESS AND THE CAPITOL - Marcus Bales & Don Caron - Parody Project

[Rhiannon12866]

It's a story that must be told and retold though many, one in particular, would like to pretend it didn't happen. The lyrics were written by Marcus Bales inspired by The Walrus and the Carpenter by Lewis Carroll.

Performed by Don Caron. Executive Producers Don Caron and Jerry Pender


LYRICS to THE LAWLESS AND THE CAPITOL

In his coat and gloves the Lawless spoke
To wind them up that day,
To try to get his Coup Cucks Clan
To do what he can’t say:
It would be so grand if you would clear
Democracy away.

“O, Loyalists, come and walk with me,
Our long march has begun,
The Capitol’s just over there,
Where voting-counting’s done.
Let’s do our own – I’m right behind
You – ‘til and if you’ve won.”

In wild surmise they looked around
Evincing some distress
“Where’s Pennsylvania Avenue?”
They asked, while shouting “Yes!”
“You’re on it.” “Oh!” And off they went,
Dull whites in silly dress.

They got up to the Capitol
Where barricades were bright,
Some cops invited them right through
Around the building’s site.
And this was scarcely odd because
The Polizei were white.
Twiddly Drumpf and Trumpty Tweet
For freedom you must fight.

“Oh, would you like to riot here,
And pillage, steal, and loot?
Well, there’s the windows, here’s the door,
We promise not to shoot
Except for once, to make it seem
Like we put in the boot”
Twiddly Drumpf and Trumpty Tweet
It’s time to execute.

They stole the Speaker’s podium
And postured on the Floor
Threw shit about and killed a cop
From two right on past four,
Then waved to cameras as they went
Back out the open door.

The riot squads by five arrived
And made some noise at them,
And said they all had got to go
At least by six p.m. –
And someone cried “Don’t shoot! You know
We’re not the BLM!”

“The time has come,” The Lawless said
“To talk of many things,
Of sinking ships and fleeing rats
And Russian blackmail rings,
And whether certain Presidents
CAN DO SELF PARDONINGS
Twiddly drumpf and Trumpty tweet
“Can do self-pardonings.”

He told them that he loved them, then
He kindly sent them home,
And told them they were special, there,
Beneath the Stately Dome.
Then he said they’d be arrested
Wherever they might roam.

So on his watch Republicans
Are in a parlous state –
They’ve lost the Senate, House, and White
House, lost the whole debate –
So after all we must admit
He made America great.