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The_jackalope

(1,660 posts)
Thu Aug 31, 2017, 07:28 PM Aug 2017

The time is set.

Mrs. Jackalope has had two independent medical assessments as required by law, and has been ruled eligible to receive medical assistance in dying. She will have the procedure on Tuesday, after the mandatory 10-day waiting period has expired. The consulting physicians were kind, empathetic, and caring beyond our expectations. They are doing everything in their power to ensure her a peaceful, pain-free death. The home care nurses who have come every day are similarly dedicated to her comfort. The entire palliative care system has performed in the highest traditions of compassion at every turn.

She and I have been meditating tonight on the amount of horror and misery that exists in the world. In contrast, the degree of privilege represented by our experience is breathtaking and humbling. That it is available without cost or question to an ordinary, impoverished middle class couple scrubs away the grimy crust of cynicism, to reveal the best of humanity.

37 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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The time is set. (Original Post) The_jackalope Aug 2017 OP
Thank you for letting us know. NT enough Aug 2017 #1
I hope they are MuseRider Aug 2017 #2
Thank you for those thoughts. The_jackalope Aug 2017 #7
I am really sorry for your loss. tymorial Aug 2017 #3
May she go gently on her last journey. Voltaire2 Aug 2017 #4
My heart & thoughts are with you. CrispyQ Aug 2017 #5
Peace be with both of you. Zoonart Aug 2017 #6
You both sound like people who represent that... 3catwoman3 Aug 2017 #8
I thank you for your updates and wish you and your family sinkingfeeling Aug 2017 #9
... handmade34 Aug 2017 #10
How hard. Wishing you both peace. mahina Aug 2017 #11
Hoping volstork Aug 2017 #12
Love from Texas, Jackalope fam elehhhhna Aug 2017 #13
Love the sentiment in your last paragraph Marie Marie Aug 2017 #14
There are no adequate words to describe my sadness question everything Aug 2017 #15
I spent 18 months caring for my Father SonofDonald Aug 2017 #16
Very powerful post hibbing Aug 2017 #17
You are lucky to be where you & your wife can have dignity in death. Honeycombe8 Aug 2017 #18
may the coming days be gentle. irisblue Aug 2017 #19
Wishing you all the strength, and compassion I can. Brogrizzly Aug 2017 #20
Very sad.. Stuart G Aug 2017 #21
Your unconditional love and support is a tribute to her central scrutinizer Aug 2017 #22
Wishing you strength jackolope! kimbutgar Aug 2017 #23
May you both find the peace you need. herding cats Aug 2017 #24
I hope you both understand that politicians are not even close to the best of us. Dustlawyer Aug 2017 #25
I'm glad you found caring people to help you through this Warpy Aug 2017 #26
you both have more courage than I would have.... chillfactor Aug 2017 #27
Thank you for sharing. SergeStorms Aug 2017 #28
Your sharing is cilla4progress Aug 2017 #29
Love to you both radical noodle Aug 2017 #30
One of the most beautiful expressions of the soul, ever. slumcamper Aug 2017 #31
Peace MFM008 Aug 2017 #32
... Skittles Sep 2017 #33
Fly high Mrs. Jackalope! Heartstrings Sep 2017 #34
This message was self-deleted by its author The_jackalope Sep 2017 #35
Love and peace to you both. Freedomofspeech Sep 2017 #36
-Blessings to you both.... Boxerfan Sep 2017 #37

MuseRider

(34,364 posts)
2. I hope they are
Thu Aug 31, 2017, 07:35 PM
Aug 2017

giving you what you need, even if you don't think you will need anything. I hope you have close friends you can depend on to talk this through later, you will likely need that even though at this point it may not seem you will. No regrets but just to process the loss.

I am so happy you have this ability. I would love to know it would be available for me when/if I need it. She will peacefully sleep but do not try to tough it out. I don't think you will but I don't know you. It is always harder to be in your shoes no matter how good it is to be able to do things this way.

I will be thinking of the both of you on Tuesday. Your wife, at least in the support, is a very lucky woman. Most of us would never have that support.

The_jackalope

(1,660 posts)
7. Thank you for those thoughts.
Thu Aug 31, 2017, 07:50 PM
Aug 2017

I do have friends available for both the immediate and long-term aftermath. My brother-in-law went though my sister's cancer death 25 years ago, and has been a pillar of understanding and caring. My parents are still alive, and are both warm, thoughtful people, who have also been seasoned in this by my sister's death. I have two hospice counselors on tap.

I know that I'm facing the unknown, and there is no value in bravado. This is not a situation that one can simply tough out.

Thanks again.

tymorial

(3,433 posts)
3. I am really sorry for your loss.
Thu Aug 31, 2017, 07:35 PM
Aug 2017

I can't imagine what you both are going through. I will keep you in my thoughts.

Zoonart

(12,746 posts)
6. Peace be with both of you.
Thu Aug 31, 2017, 07:44 PM
Aug 2017

The beauty her spirit added to the world will not be lost on all those who have experienced it. I will hold you in my thoughts as I chant tonight. Namaste

3catwoman3

(25,430 posts)
8. You both sound like people who represent that...
Thu Aug 31, 2017, 07:53 PM
Aug 2017

...best of humanity of which you speak. I wish I could have known about you, and known you both in person, in happier circumstances. You have enriched my life even though we have never met.

Your eloquent words are carved into my memory.

handmade34

(22,920 posts)
10. ...
Thu Aug 31, 2017, 08:26 PM
Aug 2017
no words good enough, but hope you are surrounded by much love this week and beyond...


my father chose to go his way last month -July 31... hospice and all people concerned (here in Vermont and at Dartmouth Hospital in NH) were wonderfully supportive...

SonofDonald

(2,050 posts)
16. I spent 18 months caring for my Father
Thu Aug 31, 2017, 08:52 PM
Aug 2017

While on home hospice, I know what you are going through and I'm so sorry.

Peace be with you.

hibbing

(10,402 posts)
17. Very powerful post
Thu Aug 31, 2017, 09:12 PM
Aug 2017

It takes a special person to work in hospice care. I have never heard a bad word about people who choose to work in the field. My personal experience with hospice caregivers was that they were all very professional and so caring.


Peace unto you

Honeycombe8

(37,648 posts)
18. You are lucky to be where you & your wife can have dignity in death.
Thu Aug 31, 2017, 09:16 PM
Aug 2017

If the word luck can be used in this situation.

I hope all goes peacefully, and she goes gentle into that good night. I hope you are all right, afterwards, knowing that her trials are over and any suffering she went through.

I am so sorry for your situation. It may be harder on the one left behind. I hope you manage to do well afterwards.

Brogrizzly

(145 posts)
20. Wishing you all the strength, and compassion I can.
Thu Aug 31, 2017, 09:25 PM
Aug 2017

So hard what you are going through, my thoughts are with you.

central scrutinizer

(12,441 posts)
22. Your unconditional love and support is a tribute to her
Thu Aug 31, 2017, 09:38 PM
Aug 2017

I wish I could give you a hug. Grief is an unpredictable roller coaster ride.

herding cats

(19,612 posts)
24. May you both find the peace you need.
Thu Aug 31, 2017, 09:54 PM
Aug 2017

Please, lean heavily on your support network. You're in heart and in my thoughts.

Dustlawyer

(10,518 posts)
25. I hope you both understand that politicians are not even close to the best of us.
Thu Aug 31, 2017, 10:18 PM
Aug 2017

In the last week I have seen and met many of the heroes you have seen on TV while going through the ordeal that was Harvey. I had many strangers help to unload from my canoe all of my father-in-law's salvaged pictures, papers, and other misc., stuff. We were wiped out and I didn't know how we would get his safe in the truck after literally dragging it a 1/4 mile up the flooded road. It was too heavy to get into the canoe. They were wonderful!

I have lost a son, but I cannot imagine going through what you two have to, but I am glad she will no longer suffer. I watched my dad suffer long past any desire to live like he was limited to, as were we, We put animals out of their misery but not people (small exception where you are). It it the right thing to do and I am glad you are both at peace with it to the extent that anyone can. It is a sign of true love that you are not selfishly trying to keep her around while she suffers, but it has to be hard to let her go.

I hope this helps some, I know DU really helped me get through the worst of Harvey. Peace and love for you both!

Warpy

(113,130 posts)
26. I'm glad you found caring people to help you through this
Thu Aug 31, 2017, 10:25 PM
Aug 2017

I can see no reason to wring the last drop of misery out of illness just to satisfy someone who is projecting their own fear of death onto everybody else. When death becomes inevitable, there shouldn't be any reason to remain in pain.

Her passing should be quiet, without pain or fear and you'll have people around to help you cope.

And many of us will be here to PM afterward, if you need to.

SergeStorms

(19,312 posts)
28. Thank you for sharing.
Thu Aug 31, 2017, 10:39 PM
Aug 2017

I often wonder what I'd do, and how I'd feel, if something like this was taking place in my life. Good luck to you, and to your wonderful, caring, unselfish wife. Please don't forget about your DU family. We'll all be with you at that final moment, at least in spirit.

slumcamper

(1,728 posts)
31. One of the most beautiful expressions of the soul, ever.
Thu Aug 31, 2017, 10:47 PM
Aug 2017

You and your Mrs. are very special people. To spend the sweep of life and its far-ranging emotions together and arrive at the point you share with us is a testament to the best of the human story. The moment you feel and relate is all-too rare for most, and fleeting when it occurs. Savor it, dive deeply into it, as I know you will, and be richer for it. The ultimate becoming of one. Hold on for the journey, Jackpine; please know many of us are with you.

Response to The_jackalope (Original post)

Boxerfan

(2,533 posts)
37. -Blessings to you both....
Fri Sep 1, 2017, 04:59 PM
Sep 2017

Her spirit will be free . And I firmly believe we can keep our loved ones alive in memory as a inner voice-don't be afraid to talk to her.

Love & good wishes.

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