A Treatise, of sorts; The Meatball in culture and spirituality.
What follows may or may not be considered 'Tongue-in-cheek', I will just leave that to the reader. Discern for yourself which portions are meant to be humorous and which are not. One thing should be clear; I take this subject seriously.
In another thread the question was asked "When did you become a Pastafarian and why?" and my answer to that was a decidedly jestful "I'm only here for the meatballs".
The rest of that thread led me to start thinking about the common image we have of the FSM and, considering his name does not contain the word "meatball" but the images show them prominently, I am perhaps taking an ecumenical leap in suggesting that there is more to the meatball than meets the eye. In a manner of speaking.
Consider this image;
Just about every single image we have ever seen of the great FSM indicates he has two meatballs surrounded by pasta noodles and TWO EYES ON STALKS. This is very important in my mind. What is the composition of the eyes? And the stalks? Is it possible that they are two other separate but equally delicious meatballs? Made of a delectable, as yet unknown heavenly white meat? Or perhaps they aren't MEATballs, but Garlic Balls on stalks of green onion?
These question keep me up at night. Well....that and the urge to urinate, but I digress.
The fact that the pasta is indeed Spaghetti and not Linguine or Vermicelli or Angel Hair or even "Thin" Spaghetti is not in dispute. After all, his name is "The Flying Spaghetti Monster". What I have come to question is the makeup of the meatballs themselves. This is a question that transcends culture, geography and cuisine, all at once.
Almost every meat eating civilization has within their cuisine, some sort of ground or minced meat item, very typically formed into a ball shape. Some are covered or wrapped in other edibles, such as the Japanese Gyoza or even the Italian Ravioli. Some are formed into log shapes as opposed to balls, like the Lebanese/Middle Eastern Kafta or even the Cajun Boudin.
There are even vegetarian examples of a ball of ground food items, such as Falafel.
So why is this? What is the attraction so many human cultures have to the concept of grinding up meat, adding spices and herbs, other aromatics and even more than one type of meat, forming it into a ball shape, cooking it and eating it? This seems to have universal appeal, to the point that it seems it has an almost, dare I say, divine encouragement.
Allow me to list just a few of the various methods for simply cooking such a food item.
A meatball can be;
1) Broiled
2) Skewered
3) Roasted
4) Boiled
5) Braised
6) Baked
7) Barbecued
8) Poached
9) Sauteed
10) Tandoori'd
11) Stir Fried
12) Deep Fried
13) Steamed
14) Grilled
And last but certainly not least
15) Slow Cooked in Sauce.
The various methods of assembling the meatball are also rather interesting. The Swedish Meatball with it's starting point of milk soaked bread. The Classic American/Italian style using Ground Beef, Pork and Veal. The Kafta using ground Lamb with Mint and Dill. The Boudin using spiced Pork and rice, and so on. Even the great American Meatloaf is little more than a giant meatball in the shape of a loaf, let's not kid ourselves.
Getting the proper consistency is important to each individual recipe and culture. Some are intentionally overcooked. Some are as tender as fresh bread. Some can be picked up in their entirety with a fork. Others crumble under their own weight.
There is something very spiritual and calming about the making of meatballs. One has to get in there and do it by hand - a machine doing such work is heresy of the highest sort. No, it takes the hands of a true believer to make a proper meatball. The mixing of the binder, be it bread crumbs, shredded bread, rice or what have you, the adding of the egg if needed, the squishing of the mix between the fingers, the feel of the mix as it gets to the right consistency for the recipe. Only an experienced practitioner can be trusted to get it right, as the seasoning is done to a raw product that can not be tasted until it has been cooked, thus the danger of too much salt or other item being added can not be left to the novice. The well taught and experienced meatball maker is akin to a Deacon of the church. A high, holy position deserving of respect.
Tactile. Feeling. Holistic. Diverse. Spiritual. Food as art and food as healing.
The ways in which a Meatball is consumed varies dramatically.
A Meatball can be eaten with
1) Spaghetti (Of course)
2) On a sandwich
3) On a plate
4) In a bowl
5) Wrapped in a Pita
6) Wrapped in Pasta
7) Wrapped in Doughs of various types (Filo, Puff Pastry, etc.)
8) Tomato based sauces
9) Brown gravy
10) Barbecue Sauce
11) Teriyaki Sauce
12) Poultry Gravy
And many, many more.
In summation, To say "I am only here for the Meatballs" is a bit simplistic considering the wide scope that encompasses the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, but suffice to say, the Meatball is an integral part of the Church and it's importance and significance should not be overlooked.
Presented in with all good intention, ingredients and loving preparation, on this day of our Pasta, Monday, June 22nd.
AHIA.
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