My neighbor just asked how to pass a pee test tomorrow.

[NightWatcher]

My reply of "stop smoking a month ago" got me a shitty look. The pleasure of being self employed is that my boss never asks me to pee in a cup.

Do any of you guys have to test with little to no notice? My advice was to go to the head shop and buy the most expensive thing they have or tape a ziplock of clean whiz to your leg.

Are there any better brands of the stuff?

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

1. If you work for an airline you're going to be randomly tested.

But I don't use the stuff anyhow so it was never a problem.

[askyagerz]

2. I used to have a fake urine pouch I kept in my locker

But it takes 30 minutes to warm up with hand warmers. Luckily I had a manager who gave me a warning. I definitley dont miss those days. Gotta love the home of the free...
https://www.quickfixurine.com/quick-fix-synthetic-urine-wearable-belt-kit.html

[Dr Hobbitstein]

3. My buddy buys powdered urine and uses a heated

pouch. He used to have randoms at his old job.

[dixiegrrrrl]

13. Powdered urine???

I think I have heard everything now, and that is saying something in these times.

[Dr Hobbitstein]

16. Yup, just add water and heat. Nt

[Thomas Hurt]

4. Three gigs ago...

Company I worked for had a random drug test. When I say random. The HR lady walks up to me and gives me an address and said I had to go there in the next hour or two IIRC.

Wasn't a problem for me..other than when I got there the staff treated me like I was a 3 time DUI alcoholic on court ordered pee tests.

Not sure that trying to scam the test is prudent thing to do, just asking for more trouble.

[Glamrock]

6. Six of one, half dozen of the other.

Fail test, fired. Get caught trying to scam, fired.

[elocs]

5. Years ago I unloaded semis with a forklift at a food warehouse.

It was a small dock and I was alone with the driver as I unloaded him. He was telling me how he hadn't been home for a long time until the past weekend and had smoked some weed with his girlfriend. I wondered where this was leading and soon found out--he was informed he would be randomly drug tested and he wanted me to give him a clean urine sample.
It still ranks as the strangest request I've ever had.
I told him, "sorry, no, I can't do that". He knew the rules and he knew he could be randomly drug tested. Besides, I didn't know him from the man in the moon so why would I risk my job to help him do something that was wrong.
Choices, meet consequences.

[BigmanPigman]

7. About 20 years ago I know someone who bought the stuff at a

local head shop (actually I had to pay for it) and it worked. Unfortunately he missed the window and I had to go and buy more for him. Back then it was $30 a shot. Expensive!

[Downtown Hound]

8. Fake urine (you can buy it online or at any headshop)

Do it right and it's success is guaranteed. I know five people that have passed using this method, including myself. The key is to make sure it's at the right temperature (it has to look like it came out of the human body, which means it should be as close to 98 degrees as possible). Meet that criteria and there is no way they can tell the difference under the microscope. If somebody fails using fake urine, it's usually because they didn't get the temperature right. There are all kinds of kits and instruction manuals online on how to make this happen and help your neighbor pass. If he does it right he should have no problem.

[NightWatcher]

10. I just found one called Quick Fix online and texted him at work.

He's going to the smoke shop tonight to get it. That stuff looks wild. You microwave it or use a hand warmer and Boom, you're good to go.

If it works I'll keep it in mind if I ever rejoin the corporate rat race.

[Downtown Hound]

11. Trust me, get the temperature right and it will work.

[mercuryblues]

9. At this point the best they

can do is google what gives you a false positive for XYZ on a drug test. And list that under medications.

[JDC]

12. Every head shop will have a variety of types

Get a good one with a guarantee. He shouldn't cheap out. Now is not the time for looking for a bargain to save $10

[Aristus]

14. My employer ordered a urine test on me when I was hired nine years ago.

Haven't undergone any testing since then.

The company works us very hard, and they have a difficult time retaining good medical providers. So they tend not to inquire too much into our private lives.

Good thing, too. I use a sub-lingual cannabis spray occasionally for insomnia.

[3Hotdogs]

15. Some companies require the urine to be collected under supervision.

[Soxfan58]

17. Talk about a terrible job.

Watching that all day would piss me off.

[waddirum]

18. I have a lot of experience with this issue

Pee Tests for work reasons are unsupervised. This allows you to sneak in a clean sample in a small pouch hidden in the underwear.

Pee Tests for court (probation, court order, etc.) are supervised. You cannot sneak in any clean pee or adulterant.

I have used "Quick Fix v.6.2 Synthetic Urine". Just heat it for 10 seconds in the Microwave, it is good to go for like 45 minutes. The small bottle has a thermometer strip, so you know that your temperature is just right. The synthetic urine contains all of the proper urine constituents that are tested: pH, urea, uric acid, creatine, and specific gravity.

The drug testing companies use this exact same formulation as "blanks" to calibrate their equipment.

[GWC58]

19. I've heard all kinds of "stories" about people who've

passed piss tests using this method, or that method. And I think many of those are just that; stories. Personally I believe the only way to pass a drug test is, I’m sure some will disagree with this, time. 10 days to a month. Anyway that’s my thoughts.

[Ilsa]

20. A college prof once told us that flat, diet

Mountain Dew worked. Has the right specific gravity, color, etc.

Somehow, I suspect that doesn't work ant more.

[JuJuYoshida]

21. isn't Golden Seal tea supposed to work?