Expert Predicts Satan Will Visit Oregon When Marijuana Becomes Legal In July

[ghostsinthemachine]

Lock up your animals, and board up your windows Oregon, we have some incredibly disturbing news from War On Drugs expert Linda Blair. Recently, Blair spoke with ThatOregonLife.com and gave some startling insight on the legalization of the pot in Oregon.

According to Blair, when the devil’s lettuce is introduced to Oregon July 1st for the first time to innocent Oregonians all across the state, we could see numbers as high as 1 in 3 Oregonians losing their lives to random violent deaths as a result of Satan himself visiting Oregon.

With Lucifer here just in time for the heat wave, not only will death and possessions be taking place, Blair also predicts there will be marijuana influenced orgies next to churches, riots, zombie attacks, and teenagers injecting THC into their genitals. (Dabs just aren’t enough for the kids these days)

Read More here: http://thatoregonlife.com/2015/06/expert-predicts-satan-will-visit-oregon-when-marijuana-becomes-legal-in-july/

[BillZBubb]

1. Why would the Devil leave his home in Texas to go to Oregon,

when Colorado is just next door?

[B Calm]

2. I always thought that Linda Blair was the one who was possessed by the devil.

[lob1]

3. Linda, your head spun around one time too many.

[Hoppy]

4. Lock up my animals? I thought you were going to say James O'Keefe was coming to town.

Shit. Its only Satan.

[jtuck004]

5. Sounds like one of those ads for a rave you find on telephone poles. Could be fun!

[Half-Century Man]

6. Marijuana influenced orgies? Next to churchs? WHY?

That would be a depressing backdrop to outside group sex. I mean Oregon has majestic mountains, sparkling lakes, towering forests, alpine meadows and miles of beautiful shoreline. Why would you and twenty of you friends want to do it in a parking lot? Granted, it's closer to Stop n Go for slim jims and handi-wipes, but plan ahead.

Zombie attacks? Or just people who are partially dressed who have been rolling around on a hot blacktopped church parking lot wandering down to the Stop n Go for slim jims and handi-wipes? Jump to conclusions much?

Injecting THC into genitals is a thing? Having been an owner/operator of a set of genitals for over half a century, I have to say; I've never wanted to stab mine. Having been an imbiber of THC, there are better methods of ingestion. Cookies are nice.

Random Violent Deaths caused by the possible presence of a supernatural being? You are thinking of religion, not marijuana. People high on THC surrounded by idyllic scenery pass a joint and make sandwiches, not pass the torch and hunt witches.

[safeinOhio]

7. Hey Linda, do some reading

Genesis 1:29 - And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which [is] upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which [is] the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat.

Revelation 22:2 - In the midst of the street of it, and on either side of the river, [was there] the tree of life, which bare twelve [manner of] fruits, [and] yielded her fruit every month: and the leaves of the tree [were] for the healing of the nations.

Genesis 9:3 - Every moving thing that liveth shall be meat for you; even as the green herb have I given you all things.

Genesis 1:11 - And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, [and] the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed [is] in itself, upon the earth: and it was so.

[RussBLib]

8. are we back to "demon weed" again?

They just never quit, do they? No matter how much information piles up about smoking the herb.

Washington, Oregon, Colorado....in my lifetime!!

[n2doc]

9. Football recruiting?

Oh, Nick Saban, not Nick Satan….