Democrats Scrap Primary System, Appoint Hillary Clinton as Nominee

[whereisjustice]

Last edited Sun Mar 1, 2015, 08:39 PM - Edit history (1)

WASHINGTON -- Calling the primary system “biased and unreliable” the Democratic National Committee announced today that it is eliminating the old fashioned ballot based system used to nominate Democrats for the general presidential election.

Reached for comment, DNC’s Debbie Wasserman Shultz explained that primaries confuse voters who are generally unaccustomed to critical thinking and decision making. “Rather than bewilder people with so many choices on Election Day, we’ve narrowed down the field so voters can choose a winning candidate every time. It’s an enormous boost to people’s self-esteem knowing they have picked the best possible candidate.”

Indeed, the new process revealed by Wasserman Shultz appears to be a major simplification. Dollar bills of various denominations are collected from rank and file subjects and assembled into a large pile. During a sacred midnight ceremony, the Highest Lama, festooned in gilded robes, lights the pile on fire. As crackling orange flames leap high into the sky, a committee of Lesser Lamas studies the resultant smoke, paying close attention to its prevailing direction, inevitably pointing to the Northeast. The Highest Lama ruminates day and night as Lesser Lamas stoke the blaze with dollar bills. The ceremony continues until a reincarnate Clinton appears in a vision, a state known as the golden enlightenment.

From there, the candidate’s spiritual awakening begins with lessons from monks of Goldmanvishnu. During this time the candidate gives up all worldly principals in order to achieve a Zen state of maximal pragmatism known as The Third Way.

Wasserman Shultz is confident the new candidate will bring needed change. “America is Ready for Her Holiness to Complete Her Spiritual Ascension ™.”

For blue ink concerners, here's the link:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1277&pid=4381

[TheCowsCameHome]

1. Sounds good to me.

Think of the time and money we'll save.

[L0oniX]

16. Let's go further and just turn over the government to the oligarchy.

[rhett o rick]

17. Problem is that for many, even so-called progressives

right here in River City, the pretense of freedom is very important. As long as there are two candidates and I get to put my ballot into the machine, I think I am free. Why tell me otherwise? Herr Gen Clapper is spying on me to keep me safe and soon drones will be programed to kill all those that don't agree with us. Wall Street will take all our wealth for our own benefit and dole out what we need to survive (or not).

[whereisjustice]

22. "Wall Street will take all our wealth for our own benefit and dole out what we need to survive"

Well said. This is exactly what America has become. We don't need a president apologist defending this way of life.

[fredamae]

2. Gotta Link? n/t

[merrily]

27. For a satirical piece?

[whereisjustice]

34. link inside

http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1277&pid=4381

[djean111]

3. For some, this is not satire, but the desired course of action.

Think of the money saved! Why risk proponents of other candidates saying mean things abut Hillary that the GOP would never have thought of in a jillion years! More like well, the last time there was a primary, didn't turn out so well.....

[Enthusiast]

4. Why subject Hillary to unnecessary scrutiny and criticism?

[URL=.html][IMG][/IMG][/URL]

[L0oniX]

15. LOL ...luv the emoticon

[merrily]

28. Must have run out of popcorn.

[tularetom]

5. Not only that, we have to do this right effing now!

That way, when Hillary makes another embarrassing gaffe, or tells another fib, it'll be too late to do anything about it.

The pressure will be off her and she'll be free to be herself.

[L0oniX]

14. Cackle.

[MannyGoldstein]

6. Strange. I wasn't informed.

But certainly, like Chuck Schumer, I'm in favor of scrapping those unseemly things.

Regards,

TWM

[djean111]

7. From your link - and very frightening -

“When I took over the [Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee] in 2005, we instituted a new policy, we tried to avoid primaries, because primaries are really a killer,” Schumer said Thursday at The Atlantic’s Washington Ideas Forum.

Schumer said that strategy was very successful, resulting in taking over the majority in the Senate in his four years atop the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee.
He said given Clinton’s experience and qualifications, other Democrats should get behind her early.
“It would be great if Democrats would unite around her early, [if] we not have a primary on the Democratic side and let the Republicans beat the daylights out of each other,” Schumer said.

I think the constant bullying is having an opposite effect. Oh, and barf.
Wonder if other potential candidates are being treated to the same inevitability (and thriftiness!) drone that non-Hillary-supporters are being subjected to.

[MannyGoldstein]

10. Blows. My. Mind. nt

[L0oniX]

13. Anti-Democratic at best. The oligarchy choice is the only choice.

[merrily]

29. When we post implying that the idea was to spare Hillary a challenge from the left by avoiding a

primary, we often get mocked and called conspiracy theorists. By a certain group within DU, anyway.

“When I took over the [Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee] in 2005, we instituted a new policy, we tried to avoid primaries, because primaries are really a killer,” Schumer said Thursday at The Atlantic’s Washington Ideas Forum.

Read more: http://www.politico.com/story/2013/11/chuck-schumer-elizabeth-warren-2016-elections-99869.html#ixzz3TAVO0MoF

Yet, everyone said in 2008 that a long, hard fought primary benefited Obama and the Party (and probably Hillary, too).

When statements made at different times contradict each other, which statements do you believe?

And primaries are supposedly the one time that rank and file Democrats get to weigh in, even though, since Mondale, they've had to make sure they outweighed Super Delegates when a Presidential is involved.



That link is a great find, Manny.Explains some of the posts I've been seeing at DU for months, too, though I have to say, I've known the two were connected.

I just might make that link my signature line soon. (My current sig seems to be getting more irrelevant with each passing day.) At a minimum, it's worth bookmarking.

[Ichingcarpenter]

8. Bill Clinton: George H.W. Bush will help President Hillary

Bill Clinton: George H.W. Bush will help President Hillary
December 2007


'Former President Bill Clinton said Monday that the first thing his wife Hillary will do when she reaches the White House is dispatch him and his predecessor, President George H.W. Bush, on an around-the-world mission to repair the damage done to America's reputation by the current president — Bush's son, George W. Bush.'


"Well, the first thing she intends to do, because you can do this without passing a bill, the first thing she intends to do is to send me and former President Bush and a number of other people around the world to tell them that America is open for business and cooperation again," Clinton said in response to a question from a supporter about what his wife's "number one priority" would be as president

http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2007/12/18/bill-clinton-george-hw-bush-will-help-president-hillary/


Her "number one priority", eh? Sure, nothing more important than bilking the US taxpayers for a victory lap of the world by the Bush-Clinton 'family' regime. Notice NOT JIMMY CARTER WHO HAS WORLD WIDE ACCLAIM AS A REAL PEACE MAKER ... but a guy that started two wars one in Panama and one in Iraq.

And this announcement was supposed to help Hillary Clinton get elected in 2008?

Are these people insane?

[djean111]

9. Money. Power. Hubris. The calm certainty of being in the invulnerable 1%.

[tularetom]

12. HE decided what HER number one priority would be, eh?

And yet we're supposed to accept her protestations that she is a totally independent entity and that Bill won't be pulling the strings behind the scenes.

I was happy to get rid of him in 2000, and yet here he is, still around.

[Enthusiast]

18. These people are insane.

[RiverLover]

19. Brothers from another mother

....Jenna Bush: Hillary Clinton and I are 'related' through 'Uncle' Bill - George W Bush's 'brother from another mother'


http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2443961/Jenna-Bush-Hillary-Clinton-related-marriage-uncle-Bill--George-W-Bushs-brother-mother.html

[whereisjustice]

21. And this... she loves an establishment man, too bad Nixon isn't still around to get a hug from her

[merrily]

30. No, they are not the insane ones.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/1251397335#post4

[L0oniX]

11. You've obviously been taking lessons from Manny.

[whereisjustice]

20. The Democratic Party has become a theater of the absurd, these are serious times

and we can't muster up enough principals and courage to demand better than McCandidate McClinton.

[rhett o rick]

25. How, exactly do you mean that?

[Scuba]

23. Well, at least we've been given a choice ...

[L0oniX]

24. +1

[rhett o rick]

26. I don't get it. The choice is obvious the fox isn't as bad as the Republicon. nm

[merrily]

31. Sailors attempting to navigate between Scylla and Charybdis had a choice, too. So did

customers at Hobson's stable.


In the cartoon, though, there is a third option: ceasing to be sheeple.

[Maedhros]

32. Or...

[Man from Pickens]

33. "gilded robes"?

they look blue and black to me